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Writing Samples
Band 5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on computers. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?

#students #computers #reliance
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Nowadays, computers become an essential part of
students
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'
life
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lives
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.
This
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 essay believes the main
problems
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 associated with dependence on computers are the lack of problem-solving
skills
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, and detrimental effects on the handwriting of
students
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 and suggests critical thinking
classes
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 and handwriting
classes
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 as the most viable solutions. The major issue with being dependent on technology is a lack of problem-solving
skills
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.Nowadays, everything is available at the click of a button , which discourages
students
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 from applying their own critical and problem-solving
skills
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.
As a result
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, many people nowadays are becoming more dependent on others and can’t make any decisions on their own. Indeed, people who are dependent on technology tend to have smaller grades on exams and usually struggle when it comes to making important decisions, like business decisions. One of the possible solutions to
this
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 problem is for schools to add more critical thinking and problem-solving
classes
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.Frequently learning to solve
problems
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 that require the use of critical-thinking
skills
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 can help people solve their
problems
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 on their own which can increase their analytical abilities
as well as
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 decision-making abilities.
In addition
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, the constant use of modern technologies can affect our hand-writing
skills
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.
For example
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, if a student performs all his assignments using software, which usually corrects misspelling errors on their own, for a long period of time, his handwriting abilities will gradually decrease
whereas
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 the number of grammar and misspelling errors will increase. And because most of the exams nowadays are written on paper, these
students
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 tend to lose efficiency and get smaller grades.
However
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, there is a simple solution to
this
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 problem- adding hand-writing
classes
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 like essay
classes
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 to schools. Frequently writing on a piece of paper can help our brain to remember how to write and solve
this
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 issue. In
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conclusion
conlusion
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conclusion
, the
problems
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that
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is
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are
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 created by dependence on
a
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apply
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technologies like lack of problem-solving and critical
skills
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 can be solved by adding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hand-writing and problem-solving
classes
Use synonyms
Submitted by abdullaevayt on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear central theme or argument that is developed throughout the essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with clear topic sentences and supportive details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. The use of transitional phrases can help to create a smoother connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has both an introduction and a conclusion that outline and summarize the main points of the essay effectively. Both should be clear and to the point, contributing to the overall argument.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully by expanding on your ideas with detailed explanations and relevant examples. The response should clearly answer all parts of the question.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and depth in your argument. Develop your ideas thoroughly, and don't be afraid to explore complexities or offer insightful perspectives.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Personal anecdotes, historical examples, and hypothetical situations are effective ways to illustrate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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