IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity if various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 an 1995. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following two pie charts show the results of a survey into the popularity if various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 an 1995. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #show #results #survey #popularity #leisure #activities #european #adults #information #features #comparisons
The two pie charts compare the data about the how popular of various leisures among European adults during 1985 and 1995 in percentage.
Overall
, there was a dramatic increase in enjoying digital
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 in those two years, with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 addition of computer gaming in 1995. Given that in total those entertainments contributed to 32% of the
overall
 landscape in 1985, in 1995 they
represent
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 57% of the
overall
 proportion. At the same time, they allocated one-third of the time to chat with family and friends in both years. A significant shift was observed from having
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 with family (18%)
over
Change preposition
to
show examples
 more talks with friends (26%). At the same time, dining out seemed to be a less preferable choice in 1995 than
1985
Change preposition
in 1985
show examples
, demonstrating a more than 10% drop from 23% to 8%
while
 other options
also
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 6% to 2%. In conclusion,
depite
Correct your spelling
despite
 watching TV
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 a slight drop, it still took the lead among all other leisure activities.
However
, the preference
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 talking with family members and eating out showed a more than 10% decrease comparatively.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: