IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

73.The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

73.The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The given two maps illustrate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data about the
park
Use synonyms
 over the
20 years
Correct your spelling
20-year
 period between 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main
area
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
park
Add an article
the park
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
consist
Correct subject-verb agreement
consists
show examples
 of gardening surroundings replaced with activity areas
such
Linking Words
 as play
ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
 and
barbecu
Correct your spelling
barbecue
 in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the main 2 gates of the
park
Use synonyms
 developed On the one hand,
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 years, the north-east of the
park
Use synonyms
 experienced only trees
while
Linking Words
 it added new
caffetarial
Correct your spelling
cafeteria
 equipment
such
Linking Words
 as chairs, desks and barbecue in 2000. In
adddition
Correct your spelling
addition
 to
this
Linking Words
, the main part of
folwer
Correct article usage
the folwer
show examples
area
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
located
Add a missing verb
is located
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 south-east of the
park
Use synonyms
 rearranged with the
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the west
area
Use synonyms
 of the
park
Use synonyms
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
restal
Correct your spelling
rental
 space had been investigated
new
Change preposition
with new
show examples
 benches.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the roads of
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 territorial
area
Use synonyms
 of the
park
Use synonyms
rearranged
Add a missing verb
were rearranged
show examples
 with 2 new
pathes
Correct your spelling
paths
 in 2002

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pond
  • northwest corner
  • large central open area
  • residential areas
  • community-oriented space
  • playground
  • eastern border
  • parking lot
  • convenience
  • commercial zone
  • amenities
  • walking path
  • encircles
  • joggers
  • accessible
  • entrances
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