Nowadays some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Most parents nowadays emphasize
on
success with Change preposition
apply
their
next Change the word
the
generation
due to
their own definition of "love
" and "responsibility", yet this
belief may create detrimental impacts to
our fragile next Change preposition
on
generation
.
On
one perspective, some people demonstrate their Change preposition
From
love
by nurturing their kids to be successful in specific field
. Their concept of Fix the agreement mistake
fields
love
is to provide the best and help build a future
of fortune for their
next Change the word
the
generation
. Therefore
, pushing their children to or even exceed their limits in certain field
is deemed essential to their Fix the agreement mistake
fields
future
well-being and is considered as the showcase of love
. This
is often associated with emotional blackmail.
On the other hand
, parental responsibility also
plays a role here when putting pressure on children to success
is considered part of their parental duty. Replace the word
succeed
In particular
, younsters
are developing, implying that they lack the maturity to make informed Correct your spelling
youngsters
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
on
their lives. Parents, by Change preposition
in
then
, feel the need to guide young people to the "right track" by preparing and cultivating them for the
Correct article usage
apply
future
success. This
phenomenon also
gives rise to the appreciation of Asian Tiger Mothers which the related book becomes one of the global best sellers.
Nonetheless
, these stresses put on the kids' shoulders often deteriorate their psychological well-being, if not leading to psychological diseases. It is not rare to hear a surge in depression rate
among young children. Fix the agreement mistake
rates
Simultaneuously
, more kids are committing Correct your spelling
Simultaneously
suicides
nowadays. Fix the agreement mistake
suicide
Therefore
, this
development is obviously doing more harms
than Fix the agreement mistake
harm
goods
.
In conclusion, forcing our own Fix the agreement mistake
good
wish
or Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
future
aspirations to
Change preposition
on
our
next Change the word
the
generation
shall never be encouraged in relation to all of the above-mentioned negative consequences.Submitted by ardentpicks on
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structure
The essay needs to have a clear introduction that presents the main topics and a conclusion that summarizes the key points. Make sure the conclusion is clearly distinguishable from the body paragraphs.
cohesion
The essay exhibits an attempt to order ideas logically, but it could greatly benefit from clearer paragraphing with distinct topic sentences for each paragraph. Additionally, make better use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task response
A complete response to the task includes covering all parts of the prompt fully. Ensure that both aspects of the question (i.e., reasons for parental pressure and its positive or negative development) are explored in equal depth and with supporting examples or evidence.
clarity
Ideas need to be more clearly developed and explained. Aim to present comprehensive arguments with a more structured approach, allowing your writing to be more accessible and understandable.
examples
More relevant and specific examples are needed to support your points. Use these examples to illustrate your arguments and show practical applications of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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