Nowadays some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#parents #pressure #children #field #development

Most parents nowadays emphasize

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apply

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success with

their

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the

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generation

due to

their own definition of "

love

" and "responsibility", yet

this

belief may create detrimental impacts

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our fragile next

generation

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From

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one perspective, some people demonstrate their

love

by nurturing their kids to be successful in specific

field

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fields

show examples

. Their concept of

love

is to provide the best and help build a

future

of fortune for

their

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the

show examples

generation

Therefore

, pushing their children to or even exceed their limits in certain

field

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fields

show examples

is deemed essential to their

future

well-being and is considered as the showcase of

love

This

is often associated with emotional blackmail.

On the other hand

, parental responsibility

also

plays a role here when putting pressure on children to

success

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succeed

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is considered part of their parental duty.

In particular

younsters

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youngsters

are developing, implying that they lack the maturity to make informed

decision

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decisions

show examples

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their lives. Parents, by

then

, feel the need to guide young people to the "right track" by preparing and cultivating them for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future

success.

This

phenomenon

also

gives rise to the appreciation of Asian Tiger Mothers which the related book becomes one of the global best sellers.

Nonetheless

, these stresses put on the kids' shoulders often deteriorate their psychological well-being, if not leading to psychological diseases. It is not rare to hear a surge in depression

rate

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rates

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among young children.

Simultaneuously

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Simultaneously

, more kids are committing

suicides

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suicide

show examples

nowadays.

Therefore

this

development is obviously doing more

harms

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harm

show examples

than

goods

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good

show examples

. In conclusion, forcing our own

wish

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wishes

show examples

future

aspirations

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show examples

our

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the

show examples

generation

shall never be encouraged in relation to all of the above-mentioned negative consequences.

Submitted by ardentpicks on Fri Dec 08 2023

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structure

The essay needs to have a clear introduction that presents the main topics and a conclusion that summarizes the key points. Make sure the conclusion is clearly distinguishable from the body paragraphs.

cohesion

The essay exhibits an attempt to order ideas logically, but it could greatly benefit from clearer paragraphing with distinct topic sentences for each paragraph. Additionally, make better use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

task response

A complete response to the task includes covering all parts of the prompt fully. Ensure that both aspects of the question (i.e., reasons for parental pressure and its positive or negative development) are explored in equal depth and with supporting examples or evidence.

clarity

Ideas need to be more clearly developed and explained. Aim to present comprehensive arguments with a more structured approach, allowing your writing to be more accessible and understandable.

examples

More relevant and specific examples are needed to support your points. Use these examples to illustrate your arguments and show practical applications of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulosry part of high school programmes. To wat extent do you agree or disagree?

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction, causing high levels of water and air pollution. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, women never feel need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree or disagree?