IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.

The bar chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
#bar #information #changes #house #prices #five #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided bar chart illustrates alterations in average house prices across five distinct cities from 1990 to 2002, relative to the average prices in 1989. It is clear, that from 1990 to 1995 the average compared to 1989 the number has rather decreased, except in two
countries
Use synonyms
,
However
Linking Words
, from 1996 to 2002 the situation is the opposite, as it has increased in all
countries
Use synonyms
 except one. If we focus on
this
Linking Words
information's
Change noun form
information
show examples
, on the first average until 1995, we have Tokio, and London with around –7,5% of
percentage
Use synonyms
 change from 1989 prices.
Then
Linking Words
 New York
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
obtains a
percentage
Use synonyms
 of –5% and
finally
Linking Words
 we have 2
countries
Use synonyms
 who reached a positive
percentage
Use synonyms
, 2% for Madrid and 2,5% for Frankfurt
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Germany.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following which
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 1996 to 2002, we have just one negative
percentage
Use synonyms
 which
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
–5% and it is Tokio. After, there is London with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher average which
rise
Change the verb form
rises
show examples
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 10%,
then
Linking Words
 we have 2
countries
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 have an equal
percentage
Use synonyms
 around 5% (New York and Madrid a bit lower 4%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the German city
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 decreased the
percentage
Use synonyms
 compared to the previous average and now obtains 2%.
Submitted by santos_dij on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • real estate market
  • average house prices
  • economic factors
  • base year
  • significant increase/decrease
  • period of stability
  • peak and trough
  • real estate development
  • population growth
  • relative comparison
  • speculate
  • anomalies
  • timeframe
  • trend analysis
  • market dynamics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: