Some individuals argue people should buy only local products rather than foreign products. do you agree or disagree
While
exotic commodities are unqiue
to some foreign countries, purchasing locally is more preferred from the perspectives of environmental conservation and economic growth. Correct your spelling
unique
This
essay will further
elaborate this
supporting stance.
Some argue that certain products are authentic to specific countries, Change preposition
on this
therefore
we should not confine ourselves to the local market but shop globally in order to enjoy a wider array of choices. This
is especially true when it comes to the
raw and natural products Correct article usage
apply
such
as argon oil. You may only find the best argon oil in Morroco as the country has the prime weather to support the growth of the relevant plant in order to manufacture premium products. However
, despite the fact that some goods are regional-specific, there are always replacements. Or taking a step even backward
, is it a must to purchase Change the spelling
backwards
such
a product?
Buying locally indeed significantly benefits our environment by cutting down the carbon emissions and atmospheric pollutants within the logistic chain. Delivering the cargo through different modes of transporation
, Correct your spelling
transportation
such
as airplanes, ships and trains, often relates to the burning of fossil fuels. These combustion processes not only release carbon dioxide causing global warming, but also
air pollutants that deteriorate our health. Therefore
, shop
locally can dramatically reduce the harmful Wrong verb form
shopping
contaminents
in the natural environment.
Economically, purchasing in the local shops Correct your spelling
contaminants
also
helps boost our regional economy, thereby leading to a
Remove the article
apply
overall
societal well-being. Economic
downturn is often associated with Add an article
The economic
An economic
massive
layoff, in debt and poverty regionally. Add an article
a massive
the massive
This
is the reason why China lately launches
its blueprint on pushing internal consumption by encouraging a close-loop economy which Wrong verb form
launched
imply
the importance of spending money within the country or even city. Change the verb form
implies
By promoting
regional Change preposition
Promoting
trades
will prevent the negative impacts Fix the agreement mistake
trade
to
the Change preposition
on
overall
society, bringing
along by the poor economy.
In conclusion, I Change the form of the verb
brought
bias
towards prioritizing local consumption Wrong verb form
am biased
than
overseas Change preposition
over
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
due to
the
environmental and Correct article usage
apply
economical
concerns.Replace the word
economic
Submitted by ardentpicks on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay demonstrates a logical structure, it could be more effectively organized by specifically addressing the counterargument in a separate paragraph and then refuting it, as opposed to mixing the refutation with your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they would benefit from a stronger thesis statement and a more powerful final summarization. Clarify your position in the introduction and strengthen your argument by affirming your stance in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your supporting points are relevant, but they require further development. Include more specific examples or case studies to substantiate your arguments, as this will contribute to the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task appropriately by stating your position and supporting it throughout the essay. However, the task achievement score could be higher if you expanded your ideas further and provided a more in-depth exploration of the topic.
task achievement
The ideas you've presented are clear and easy to understand, but they could be articulated in a more comprehensive manner. Try to fully develop your points and relate them explicitly to the prompt to make certain that readers can follow your argument without any doubt.
task achievement
Examples are relevant yet somewhat general. Take the opportunity to provide more specific and varied examples to enrich your essay. Consider including personal anecdotes, statistics, or references to studies to fortify your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example