IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the main part of the population tries to tend to involve lessons which it takes place on the Internet rather than attending offline classes

#part #population #lessons #place #internet #offline #classes
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In nowadays
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Nowadays
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, the main part of the population tries to tend to involve lessons which it takes place on the Internet rather than attending offline
classes
.
Firstfirstly
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First
,
this
 essay will give some potential benefits of online learning studies and
then
 show the negative sides of
this
 issue.
To begin
, it is an undeniable fact that technological advancement is a vital part of modern
societies
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societies'
society's
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 lifestyle, especially learning tools and improvements.
Moreover
, people tend to increase the usage of online learning hubs to get beneficial effects which include a cost-benefit approach, saving time for other essential activities and so on.
For instance
, In Azerbaijan,
students
 who are not eligible for face-to-face learning use distant learning tools without leaving their native accommodations and spend only a small internet fee to access all the resources.
On the other hand
, the main ageing group of people ,especially
students
, may be suffering from some difficulties of not attending offline courses in their educational years.
Following
this
,
students
 may face some miscommunication problems and not
fully
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be fully
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 involved
physical
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in physical
show examples
 activities and original view of the
classes
.
For example
, as the result of fundamental research by UK scientists investigate that it can be clearly seen that some
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of
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the
students
 have
misunderstand
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misunderstood
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their ability to catch some complex parts of lessons and not to chance to imagination of theories.
To sum up
,
although
,
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apply
show examples
online
classes
 have some potential negative effects on communication and problem-solving skills,
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 low cost of the
classes
 and their time-consuming
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the beneficial side of
this
 issue.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structural flow. Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more developed and clear.
coherence cohesion
The main points are present but could be better supported with well-developed arguments and clear explanations.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of the essay are repetitive and do not contribute to the overall coherence. This can be improved by avoiding unnecessary repetition and focusing on a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a somewhat complete response to the task but lacks in-depth exploration of the topic. More detail and depth of analysis would improve the task response.
task achievement
Ideas are expressed, but they need to be expanded with clearer explanations and more comprehensive analysis to better address the topic.
task achievement
The use of examples is appropriate, but they could be more specific and directly relevant to the main points to effectively illustrate the arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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