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Band 3

Some people say that staying in a hotel in a foreign country when on holiday is not the best way to get to know about the country and its people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #hotel #country #holiday
When we pay a visit to another
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
in
Change preposition
on
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 some occasions, we will explore many
interested
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interesting
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 things about
this
country
such
 as
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
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, cuisine and
Correct article usage
the locals’
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locals’
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locals
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 lifestyle. The best way to discover and understand their countries is
standing
Change preposition
by standing
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 up and researching the world outside. Because the beauty of
this
country
 is not only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your hotel but
also
on
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in
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 the impressive
landspace
Correct your spelling
land space
 there.
Therefore
, for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
,
this
 approach offers the most opportunities for learning and experience. By travelling abroad, every individual can broaden the horizon, which alters the perceptions of
this
country
 as well. The thing that we should do first when we come to a foreign
country
, not
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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 in our hotel, we should be curious about everything around us first and try to find out as much
as
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apply
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information as possible about
this
 location. Through that, we
also
 advance
the
Change the word
our
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 knowledge and improve
the
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our
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communicate
Replace the word
communication
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skill
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skills
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.
Furthermore
, we will contemplate majestic statues or architects. We will witness historical sites that will be evidenced for their ancestors. Through the thing that we know how daily life of its people happen , tourists will know more and more customs of
this
 nation.
Besides
, they can visit some attraction sites and have
a
Change the article
an
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 occasion to go sightseeing around
this
 city. In conclusion, if we have an opportunity to travel overseas, everybody should enjoy the trip to the fullest by going outside and
look
Wrong verb form
looking at
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 the beauty of
this
 nation with
multidimensional
Add an article
a multidimensional
the multidimensional
show examples
 view.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are directly related to that main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices effectively throughout the essay to show the relationship between ideas and to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction that addresses the prompt directly and a conclusion that effectively summarises the essay's main points.
task achievement
Give a complete response to the task, including a clear opinion on the topic throughout the essay, addressing all parts of the task.
task achievement
Develop ideas fully to show a clear understanding and comprehensive analysis of the topic.
task achievement
Include relevant examples that are specific and fully explained to support your arguments and ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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