Some people think that the government should fund training courses for performing arts such as music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are many interests and lessons that can be taken by students in the world, some of them are art and music.
While
some would argue that the government ought to Linking Words
fund
these activities because Use synonyms
this
would ensure that there Linking Words
are
equal access to all Change the verb form
is
children
, I believe that there are still many people Use synonyms
can
afford it and private businesses or Correct pronoun usage
who can
families
funding is a better option.
On the one hand, government funding ensures that all Fix the agreement mistake
family
children
, regardless of their socioeconomic background, have access to performing Use synonyms
arts
education. Use synonyms
This
promotes inclusivity and helps discover and nurture talent irrespective of financial constraints. Linking Words
For example
, government support for performing Linking Words
arts
can contribute to a nation's cultural identity and heritage. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that Linking Words
this
should be taken into consideration because many people who have Linking Words
children
following performing Use synonyms
arts
can spend their own money to be able to learn and study creative things.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, families and businesses should take responsibility for extracurricular activities like performing Linking Words
arts
. Use synonyms
This
ensures that those who benefit directly from the programs bear the financial burden, promoting a sense of accountability. Linking Words
For example
, I think that there is not any country Linking Words
that is
kind enough to Linking Words
fund
their people to take music or dancing practices, in Indonesia, they have to put up their own resources to Use synonyms
fund
Use synonyms
this
type of deeds. I believe Linking Words
this
school of thought is preferable because countries can use Linking Words
this
Linking Words
fund
to focus only on their science and technology advancement.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
spending money on performing Linking Words
arts
helps the Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
doing
what they love without using their parent's Wrong verb form
do
tuitor
, Correct your spelling
tutor
tuition
but
private businesses and families can contribute to specialized and advanced programs.Remove the conjunction
apply
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coherence cohesion
To improve on coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context of the discussion and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Your paragraphs should flow logically from one thought to another, with clear topic sentences that set the theme of each paragraph. Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to tie your ideas together more effectively.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task only partially. You should aim to discuss both views in equal measure and provide a clear opinion. Include more developed ideas and explore each viewpoint with more depth, ensuring that you provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Remember to maintain a balance between the two sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.