You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that the government should fund training courses for performing arts such as music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #topic #people #government #fund #courses #arts #music #dance #lessons #children #businesses #families
There are many interests and lessons that can be taken by students in the world, some of them are art and music.
While
some would argue that the government ought to fund
these activities because this
would ensure that there are
equal access to all Change the verb form
is
children
, I believe that there are still many people can
afford it and private businesses or Correct pronoun usage
who can
families
funding is a better option.
On the one hand, government funding ensures that all Fix the agreement mistake
family
children
, regardless of their socioeconomic background, have access to performing arts
education. This
promotes inclusivity and helps discover and nurture talent irrespective of financial constraints. For example
, government support for performing arts
can contribute to a nation's cultural identity and heritage. However
, I believe that this
should be taken into consideration because many people who have children
following performing arts
can spend their own money to be able to learn and study creative things.
On the other hand
, families and businesses should take responsibility for extracurricular activities like performing arts
. This
ensures that those who benefit directly from the programs bear the financial burden, promoting a sense of accountability. For example
, I think that there is not any country that is
kind enough to fund
their people to take music or dancing practices, in Indonesia, they have to put up their own resources to fund
this
type of deeds. I believe this
school of thought is preferable because countries can use this
fund
to focus only on their science and technology advancement.
In conclusion, although
spending money on performing arts
helps the children
doing
what they love without using their parent's Wrong verb form
do
tuitor
, Correct your spelling
tutor
tuition
but
private businesses and families can contribute to specialized and advanced programs.Remove the conjunction
apply
Submitted by baonhi260804 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve on coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context of the discussion and a conclusion that summarizes your main points. Your paragraphs should flow logically from one thought to another, with clear topic sentences that set the theme of each paragraph. Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to tie your ideas together more effectively.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task only partially. You should aim to discuss both views in equal measure and provide a clear opinion. Include more developed ideas and explore each viewpoint with more depth, ensuring that you provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Remember to maintain a balance between the two sides of the argument before presenting your opinion.