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Band 6.5

Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#cities #world #development
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In the contemporary era, the common points among the
cities
 on Earth are increasing. The root causes of
this
 phenomenon are multifaceted, and there are
also
 influences that have profound impacts.
This
 essay will explore the reasons and present my personal viewpoint. In
this
 hustle-and-bustle society, urban areas usually have similar traits like buildings and
services
. One of the significant factors is the growing population. It is widely agreed that the existence of skyscrapers is to accommodate more
people
 by constructing vertically.
Furthermore
, with the advancement of technology, medical
services
 in
cities
 become more universal than ever before. What is obvious is that technology can promote the development of medicine, and
this
 will allow more
people
 to afford medical
services
.
As a consequence
, a large number of dental clinics and hospitals are set up in every city. In the general aspect,
cities
 becoming more similar to each other is an eminent trend. It is undeniable that when every city has the same development,
people
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 around the world don't have to suffer from inconvenience. There are Since those highly developed
cities
 have complete medical
services
,
people
 don't have to worry about health problems. With the widespread availability of the Internet,
people
 can easily contact their families even when they study abroad or engage in business in other countries. In conclusion, it is evident that population growth and technology are the major causes of the similarity among
cities
. From my perspective, it is benign for
this
 development because it can result in the enhancement of life quality.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While your essay has an overall structure, some transitions between ideas are abrupt. Use cohesive devices to better connect paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Expand your main points with specific examples. Your argument would benefit from including more detailed examples and evidence that support your points. Also, make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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