Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that technology altered the way that
people
Use synonyms
communicate with each other. One may say
this
Linking Words
transformation has positive effects on
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
between
people
Use synonyms
or negative effects. I believe that there have been more positive effects
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than negative ones
due to
Linking Words
the elimination of the problem of distance between
people
Use synonyms
and
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
of the social circle. Communicating with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person who is located far away from you gives for your life
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
. For centuries, it has been a problem to communicate with
people
Use synonyms
located at great distances from each other. From the end of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
century, the problem has lost its importance.
People
Use synonyms
can solve their
problems
Use synonyms
just with one call. It is very important
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in emergency situations. It can save someone's life.
People
Use synonyms
with a large social circle experience less stress than
people
Use synonyms
who do not talk to anyone. Stress has become one of the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
largest
problems
Use synonyms
of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world. When
people
Use synonyms
talk with their closest ones about their
problems
Use synonyms
, they feel
ease
Change preposition
at ease
show examples
. Real friends can do whatever to improve their
friends
Change to a genitive case
friend's
friends'
show examples
mood. With the arrival of happiness, depression goes away. It is proved
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
the experience of scientists
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
Cambridge University
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when
people
Use synonyms
with depression
sits
Wrong verb form
sit
show examples
with happy
people
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, after 1.5
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
of talking with them, depressed/stressed
people
Use synonyms
changed their mood and started doing well with their life
problems
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the way of changing the ways of communication among
people
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
technology has affected
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
positively. By fast
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
people
Use synonyms
can solve their
problems
Use synonyms
, even vital ones.
By keeping
Change preposition
Keeping
show examples
your friends close, despite the distance, can help
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
your mood.
Submitted by shakhzodbek.bakhtiyorov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the topic. In the given essay, the conclusion is present but could be more comprehensive and reflective of the essay's content.
logical structure
Focus on a structured approach, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Develop paragraphs with a single idea, and ensure each idea logically follows the previous one. Connect ideas with a range of cohesive devices.
supported main points
Support main points with concrete examples and details. In the provided essay, some points are made but without strong support or significant detail to illustrate the ideas fully.
complete response
Ensure that the task is fully addressed by covering all parts of the question. In the given essay, the writer should expand on the negative effects of technology on relationships to provide a balanced discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in presenting ideas. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea that is easily understood, and there should be a natural flow of ideas throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant, specific examples to support the arguments. The usage of a scientific study from Cambridge University is a good start, but consider providing more detailed information or additional examples to strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: