.In many countries ,teenagers are encouraged to do part time jobs. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part time jobs ?what's the situation like in your country?

#countries #teenagers #part #time #jobs #situation #country

It is common for many countries around the world to stimulate adolescents to do

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs. Of course,

this

approach has its pros and cons and both will be elaborated on in

this

essay. There are a few obvious benefits to encouraging the young generation to

working

Change the verb form

work

show examples

. One of the main advantages is that

teens

this

way learn that earning

money

is actually complicated and requires a

hardwork

Correct your spelling

work

. Asking parents for

money

is much easier than working by

youself

Correct your spelling

yourself

and

consiquently

Correct your spelling

consequently

, after

descovering

Correct your spelling

discovering

this

adolscents

Correct your spelling

adolescents

can spend

money

more carefully than before.

Moreover

, getting new knowledge and experience in the field of work is advantageous. It means that youngsters can learn a lot from

this

experience about themselves and

type

Correct article usage

the type

show examples

of work which

suit

Correct subject-verb agreement

suits

show examples

them the most and which one they totally dislike.

For instance

, in the US it is quite popular for

teens

to have a

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job,

espesially

Correct your spelling

especially

on holidays, when they have more free

time

to dedicate themselves fully to earning

money

and learning something new. Turning to the other side of the argument, working long hours

instead

of school is the major issue. Many

teens

can get very tired after work and,

therefore

, be less productive at school. If their working hours are not controlled by the government, it can have some serious

consiquences

Correct your spelling

consequences

on teenagers` education in general. Another drawback is that

teens

can prefer

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

over tertiary education. They may think that it is possible to earn a good sum of

money

without having a degree so there is simply no need for that.

Consequently

this

can be a serious issue for the

countrly

Correct your spelling

country

on the grounds that there will be

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

sertificated

Correct your spelling

certificated

certificate

specialists. All things considered, there are certain negatives of encouraging

teens

to do

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs.

However

, in my

country

Add a comma

country,

show examples

this

approach is quite popular and there are

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

serious problems with it because it

widen

Change the verb form

widens

show examples

young individuals` mindset and helps them to find themselves in

this

world.

Submitted by miaqu138 on Fri Dec 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, you should ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next by using appropriate linking words and transitions.

coherence cohesion

An effective introduction and conclusion are essential. Make sure they clearly outline the essay's topic and provide a summary of the main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with thorough explanations and relevant examples. This will help in developing your argument and providing clarity to your essay.

task achievement

For a complete response, ensure that you address all parts of the task and provide a clear position throughout the response. Stay focused on the task at hand.

task achievement

Your ideas need to be expressed clearly and comprehensively. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the argument is easy to follow.

task achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be directly relevant to the topic and help in reinforcing your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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.In many countries ,teenagers are encouraged to do part time jobs. what do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part time jobs ?what's the situation like in your country?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

High Rise building - advantage/disadvantage These days more people prefer to live in vertical buildings. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the people?

Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

A successful person is one who has earned a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.