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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The tables below show data about the amount of television watched by children in different countries (hours per day) and also the average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level).

The tables below show data about the amount of television watched by children in different countries (hours per day) and also the average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level).
#tables #show #data #amount #television #children #countries #hours #achievement #people #level
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Given are two graphs concerning children in different countries.
While
 the former reveals the amount of time spent on television, measured in
Add an article
an hour
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hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
, the latter provides the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 academic achievement on average, counted in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
, THE
USA
,
Canada
 and The UK are
three
 countries which have the highest
hours
Correct quantifier usage
number of hours
show examples
 squandered on television
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
,
as well as
 account for the most remarkable proportions of the number of
people
 who completed schooling. In terms of the number of hours watched by adolescents, the first rank is taken up by the data of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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,
Canada
 and The
UKk
Correct your spelling
UK
 with 4, narrowly followed by those of China and Italy with 3. The
remainings
Correct your spelling
remaining
show examples
 namely the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 India, Brazil, UAE and
Malta
 in the range of 1 and 2, which takes up the most insignificant . Regarding average educational accomplishment, there are
three
 types of academic ranges
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school, high school and diversity. With respect to the information
in
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apply
show examples
Italy,
Canada
 and
Malta
 are
three
 nations where there are not any
people
 dropping out of institutions, followed closely by the
USA
, the UK, UAE, China and Brazil which are in the 90’s. Meanwhile, India is the country having the
number
Correct word choice
highest number
show examples
 of
people
 not completing their learning journeys. As for the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 high
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
,
Malta
 is the only nation which maintains their crown with 100. At the opposite end of the scale, India’s and China’s dwellers have the lowest
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 with 68 and 60 respectively.
Whereas
, the others constituted in the range of 80 to 97. As for
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
universities, the UK and
Canada
 are the two which have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 breakdown higher than 30, to be specific to be 29 and 32 respectively. The figure of
people
 accomplishing college in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 nations namely
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Italy, China and Brazil is in the
20’s
Change noun form
20s
show examples
. In
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stark contrast, UAE,
Malta
 and India are
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 countries which have the least noticeable
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, canada, three, people, malta with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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