In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In some countries,
children
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are taught that with hard
work
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and practice, they will achieve goals. In my view,
this
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message has the potential to inspire and motivate
children
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,
however
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, it can cause delusion and disappointment. Teaching
children
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to strive for success has numerous advantages.
Firstly
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, the message is a tool to help cultivate a sense of self-assurance and motivation in
children
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and make them become a better version of themselves. Many young individuals hesitate to step out of their comfort zone because they do not believe in their abilities. Encouragement from parents and teachers makes
children
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aware that they can attain anything with effort and determination.
For example
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, if a child wants to learn a new skill or participate in an activity that they are not yet proficient in and lack confidence in, they will try more because they have faith in themselves and can overcome it with effort and perseverance. Another positive
affect
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effect
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is the habit of never giving up, which is most required of successful people. They will
work
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persistently, try tirelessly, and be willing to find ways to
work
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more efficiently. There are several disadvantages to giving
children
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this
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information. Sometimes, some jobs and dreams do not guarantee success if they
work
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hard. Diligence is an admirable trait, but it will
also
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cause
children
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to be disappointed in jobs where diligence only plays a small role.
For instance
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, one of the necessary factors for becoming a professional editor is a good, clear, and fluent voice. Unfortunately,
this
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job has become more arduous for individuals with speech problems
such
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as lisps or stuttering. The second negative impact is that giving the message to be a hard-working person too frequently can affect their mental health. Many of them might feel overwhelmed and pressured by their tasks.
This
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can make them mentally tired and result in frustration, disillusionment, or even mental disorder.
Moreover
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,
children
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may misunderstand and consider achievement as competition.
Instead
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of working hard for themselves, they do it to gain approval from adults. In conclusion, the idea that teaching
children
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to
work
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hard will always result in success is a great way to motivate them to overcome hardship.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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teaching may lead to undesirable outcomes in situations where trying hard enough is not the key.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. Paragraph structure and transition were adequately utilized to connect ideas. To further improve, enhance the logical connectors to make sure that the progression of ideas is seamless and consistently clear.
task achievement
In terms of task response, the essay sufficiently addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the given topic. To gain a higher score, each main point should be further developed with more focused and elaborated arguments. Make sure to also include a more balanced treatment of both sides of the given topic to meet all parts of the task equally.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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