Directors of large organizations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In an organization, there are various positions and each position has a defined range of salary depending upon the intensity of the work.

While

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some people find the notion to be justified, others oppose it.

This

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essay will aim to discuss both viewpoints before giving a final opinion.

To begin

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with, there are several factors why some senior personnel,

such

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as directors, are given higher remuneration than other staff.

Firstly

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, they have years of experience under their belt which is extremely beneficial to the company.

Secondly

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, they have the skill set required to accomplish the wide range of

responsibility

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responsibilities

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assigned to them which might vary from organizing teams to collaborating with stakeholders to implementing strategies that will raise the company’s profit.

Consequently

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, to handle these factors, they not only have to work within the company but

also

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travel to various places.

Thus

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, paying them a higher salary is perfectly acceptable and reasonable.

However

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, some employees,

such

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as managers or engineers, have a workload similar to the higher personnel, if not more.

For instance

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, a construction engineer has to frequently visit sites to ensure that tasks are carried out

according to

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plans and conduct meetings with the stakeholders to constantly update them on the progress.

This

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aids in delivering the project on time

as well as

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maintaining a good rapport with the client.

Therefore

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, it seems unfair if these personnel are paid lower wages despite the efforts they make. To recapitulate,

although

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the directors work hard to maintain the clients and enhance the profits for the company, many staff

also

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make efforts to manage their

duty

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duties

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as well as

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maintain the image of the organization by delivering on time.

Hence

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, I believe the high pay package for seniors is justified but the salary of hard-working staff ought to be taken into consideration as well.

rezaf.permadiFri Mar 29 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea to maintain coherence throughout your essay. This approach was effectively employed in your essay, making it easier to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

It's beneficial to include a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will also contribute to a higher level of cohesion and coherence.

Task Achievement

For an even richer response, you might consider including counter-arguments in your discussion. Acknowledging contrary opinions and refuting them can add depth to your argument.

General

To further refine your essay, consideration should be given to the precision of language. Choosing the most precise words to express your ideas can elevate the clarity of your argument.

Structure

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively framed your argument, which is essential for high-scoring essays.

Content

You successfully discussed both views in a balanced manner, demonstrating an understanding of the essay question and contributing to a high task achievement score.

Content

Your essay included relevant examples, which helped to support your main points and arguments, enhancing the overall clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Disproportionate, Exorbitant, Compensation, Executive, Inequality, Morale, Performance-based, Transparency, Disparity, Retain, Attract, Innovation, Motivation, Talent, Equity, Leadership, Societal, Exponentially

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Directors of large organizations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Tobacco should be treated as illegal like other drugs. Smoking has not a single positive issue, but lots of negative effect. Therefore it should be banned.

Around the world, children learn English as a second language at school. However, in some places, they also learn at kindergarten (pre-school care, when children are aged two to five). Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning English at kindergarten.