Some people think in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
People
’s opinions differ as to whether people
are more less
dependent on others Correct word choice
or less
in
these days. In Change preposition
apply
this
essay, I will look at some of arguments
for Add an article
the arguments
while
there are some reasons to think that individuals now stooge on each other more.
Nowadays, there are several reasons why it could be argued that humans are more dependent on each other. First of all, day- by-day
life is more difficult, that means not all Correct your spelling
day-by-day
people
can live as they want. Secondly
, the majority of teenagers prefer
develop without Add the particle
prefer to
help
of their parents. That means the parents must support their children with their careers. For occurrence, by statistics in Add an article
the help
China
the majority of adults live separately without their parents.
In spite of Add a comma
China,
above
arguments, I support the view that Correct article usage
the above
people
are more independent these days. In some countries, young adults to
earn money Fix the infinitive
apply
easily
than Correct quantifier usage
more easily
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
people
, that
means that young Correct pronoun usage
which
people
can depend from
experienced Change preposition
on
people
who work full-time. In addition
, many students choose to study on
Change preposition
in
own
country and develop their careers, and Correct pronoun usage
their own
this
makes them more independent as they learn to live alone.For instance
, in Central Asia
day-by-day growing independence is technology, which allows us to develop our work.
Taking everything Add a comma
Asia,
by
consideration, individuals depend on each other more, my own view is that we are more independent than everChange preposition
into
Submitted by ina1_95 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction is present but lacks a clear thesis statement. Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and includes a thesis statement that presents the main points that will be discussed.
Logical Structure
Work on creating more logical and clear connections between ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to structure the argument.
Supported Main Points
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and a variety of supporting examples. Each argument should be clearly connected to the thesis and fully elaborated.
Complete Response
The response needs to be more complete. Address all parts of the prompt, including discussing both views equally and providing your own opinion in a balanced way.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas to more comprehensively address the topic. Make sure you fully explain concepts before moving on to the next point.
Relevant Specific Examples
Relevant examples are provided, but they should be more specific and detailed. Back up your claims with clear evidence or specific instances.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.