Some people think in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

People
’s opinions differ as to whether
people
are more
less
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or less
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dependent on others
in
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apply
show examples
these days. In
this
essay, I will look at some of
arguments
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the arguments
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for
while
there are some reasons to think that individuals now stooge on each other more. Nowadays, there are several reasons why it could be argued that humans are more dependent on each other. First of all,
day- by-day
Correct your spelling
day-by-day
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life is more difficult, that means not all
people
can live as they want.
Secondly
, the majority of teenagers
prefer
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prefer to
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develop without
help
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the help
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of their parents. That means the parents must support their children with their careers. For occurrence, by statistics in
China
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China,
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the majority of adults live separately without their parents. In spite of
above
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the above
show examples
arguments, I support the view that
people
are more independent these days. In some countries, young adults
to
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apply
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earn money
easily
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more easily
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than
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
people
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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means that young
people
can depend
from
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on
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experienced
people
who work full-time.
In addition
, many students choose to study
on
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in
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own
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their own
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country and develop their careers, and
this
makes them more independent as they learn to live alone.
For instance
, in Central
Asia
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Asia,
show examples
day-by-day growing independence is technology, which allows us to develop our work. Taking everything
by
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into
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consideration, individuals depend on each other more, my own view is that we are more independent than ever
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Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction is present but lacks a clear thesis statement. Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and includes a thesis statement that presents the main points that will be discussed.
Logical Structure
Work on creating more logical and clear connections between ideas. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to structure the argument.
Supported Main Points
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and a variety of supporting examples. Each argument should be clearly connected to the thesis and fully elaborated.
Complete Response
The response needs to be more complete. Address all parts of the prompt, including discussing both views equally and providing your own opinion in a balanced way.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas to more comprehensively address the topic. Make sure you fully explain concepts before moving on to the next point.
Relevant Specific Examples
Relevant examples are provided, but they should be more specific and detailed. Back up your claims with clear evidence or specific instances.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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