Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfied job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.
Facing difficult
situation
, different Fix the agreement mistake
situations
people
take actions distinctly, varying from risk-avoidance to risk-aversion approach. In my opinion, striving for better is always in favor
Change the spelling
favour
against
being static. The below essay will Change preposition
of
further
investigate into
both sides of the views and elaborate on my stance.
Some Change preposition
apply
people
prefer to accept the current situation
because of potential unknowns and their incapability to impact the macro-environment. COVID lock down
would be a prime example of Correct your spelling
lockdown
this
kind of uncontrollable situation
. No matter how hard the individuals tried to improve the lock down
Correct your spelling
lockdown
situation
, they were still restricted by the laws and governmental policy. Therefore
, they choose to thrive under this
bad situation
instead
of putting any efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
on
changing the policy.
Change preposition
into
Nonetheless
, people
with growth
mindset are more willing to better their circumstances. Armed with Add an article
a growth
the
confidence, at least Correct article usage
apply
paying
efforts would be able to make a difference if not the result will always and only be Verb problem
making
the
continuous suffering. Despite, Correct article usage
apply
for example
, the announced top-down COVID policy, they can proactively seek changes by using media or sending letters to communicate with the government - in the hope of reconsideration of
the official COVID strategy. Change preposition
apply
As a consequence
, the home-staying restriction is lifted now and the government decides
to co-exist with the virus.
Wrong verb form
has decided
Therefore
, in my opinion, we all shall
have the courage to challenge our status quo in order to reach a higher quality of life. Even though some may argue that sometimes a worsening Verb problem
should
situation
may come with the changes, the same is also
valid - the situation
may be improved by the
individual effort. Because of Correct article usage
apply
this
unknown, we should try even harder to achieve the status we have longed for.
In conclusion, the lmiiting
belief may discourage Correct your spelling
limiting
people
from making any move and cope
with difficulties Wrong verb form
coping
while
risk takers prefer to bet for a better future by taking actions
. I am a strong advocate of the latter point of view. Only by taking Fix the agreement mistake
action
actions
, changes will come.Fix the agreement mistake
action
Submitted by ardentpicks on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a basic logical structure in your essay, but it could be significantly improved. Try to make use of clear paragraphing with distinct topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, transitions and linking phrases should be used more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present and they offer a general overview and closing statement of the topic. However, they lack a strong, clear thesis statement and a summary of the main arguments. Make sure to directly address the prompt in your introduction and to restate your key points succinctly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are somewhat supported, there is room for improvement in how you back up your ideas. Use more detailed explanations and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments. The examples provided could be more specific and direct to effectively support your points. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your supporting paragraphs.
task achievement
You have completed the task, but the response could be more fully developed. Ensure that your essay comprehensively covers all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. It is key to address all aspects of the task to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Your essay presents ideas related to the topic, but they need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Work on refining your explanations and arguments so that the reader can easily understand and follow your reasoning. Taking time to plan your essay to define clear, well-thought-out ideas will improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
The essay has examples that are relevant to the topic, but they could be more specific and directly tied to the arguments being made. Using concrete examples from real-life situations or studies can greatly strengthen your essay. Examples should illustrate the point you are making in a clear and compelling manner.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example