Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfied job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinon.

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Facing difficult
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situation
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situations
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, different
people
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take actions distinctly, varying from risk-avoidance to risk-aversion approach. In my opinion, striving for better is always in
favor
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favour
show examples
against
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of
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being static. The below essay will
further
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investigate
into
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apply
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both sides of the views and elaborate on my stance. Some
people
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prefer to accept the current
situation
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because of potential unknowns and their incapability to impact the macro-environment. COVID
lock down
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lockdown
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would be a prime example of
this
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kind of uncontrollable
situation
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. No matter how hard the individuals tried to improve the
lock down
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lockdown
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situation
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, they were still restricted by the laws and governmental policy.
Therefore
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, they choose to thrive under
this
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bad
situation
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instead
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of putting any
efforts
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effort
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on
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into
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changing the policy.
Nonetheless
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,
people
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with
growth
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a growth
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mindset are more willing to better their circumstances. Armed with
the
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apply
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confidence, at least
paying
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making
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efforts would be able to make a difference if not the result will always and only be
the
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apply
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continuous suffering. Despite,
for example
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, the announced top-down COVID policy, they can proactively seek changes by using media or sending letters to communicate with the government - in the hope of reconsideration
of
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the official COVID strategy.
As a consequence
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, the home-staying restriction is lifted now and the government
decides
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has decided
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to co-exist with the virus.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, we all
shall
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should
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have the courage to challenge our status quo in order to reach a higher quality of life. Even though some may argue that sometimes a worsening
situation
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may come with the changes, the same is
also
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valid - the
situation
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may be improved by
the
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apply
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individual effort. Because of
this
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unknown, we should try even harder to achieve the status we have longed for. In conclusion, the
lmiiting
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limiting
belief may discourage
people
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from making any move and
cope
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coping
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with difficulties
while
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risk takers prefer to bet for a better future by taking
actions
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action
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. I am a strong advocate of the latter point of view. Only by taking
actions
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action
show examples
, changes will come.
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coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a basic logical structure in your essay, but it could be significantly improved. Try to make use of clear paragraphing with distinct topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, transitions and linking phrases should be used more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present and they offer a general overview and closing statement of the topic. However, they lack a strong, clear thesis statement and a summary of the main arguments. Make sure to directly address the prompt in your introduction and to restate your key points succinctly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are somewhat supported, there is room for improvement in how you back up your ideas. Use more detailed explanations and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments. The examples provided could be more specific and direct to effectively support your points. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your supporting paragraphs.
task achievement
You have completed the task, but the response could be more fully developed. Ensure that your essay comprehensively covers all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. It is key to address all aspects of the task to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Your essay presents ideas related to the topic, but they need to be clearer and more comprehensive. Work on refining your explanations and arguments so that the reader can easily understand and follow your reasoning. Taking time to plan your essay to define clear, well-thought-out ideas will improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
The essay has examples that are relevant to the topic, but they could be more specific and directly tied to the arguments being made. Using concrete examples from real-life situations or studies can greatly strengthen your essay. Examples should illustrate the point you are making in a clear and compelling manner.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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