IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are taking a course at a local college. The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it. Write a letter to your lecturer. In your letter introduce yourself explain why you haven't handed in the project yet request more time to do it. Model answer Dear Ms. McKeen, My name is Leo Smith and I am a first-year student in your Marketing class at Capilano College. I am writing to you because I have a problem with the project you set about social media. The due date was last week but I'm afraid I haven't finished it yet. As you know, I have been absent from class for almost ten days with COVID-19 symptoms and I have not been attending lectures. I only managed to get the reading list from a friend and go to the library to do research yesterday. You will see from your records that I have never missed a deadline for an assignment so far during my course. However, I am requesting an extension of one week in this case because I am so behind with my work. I hope you will take my illness into consideration and grant me an extension. Yours sincerely, Leo Smith

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An increased awareness of how a
Use synonyms
meat free
Add a hyphen
meat-free
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diet
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 can benefit our health and the environment has resulted in the widely held belief that everyone should become vegetarian. I equally agree and disagree with
this
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 proposal and
this
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 essay will outline the reasons why. On the one hand, there are several benefits to becoming a vegetarian. Specifically, medical research has proved conclusively that vegetarians are less likely to develop health-related issues
such
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 as obesity or
cardio-vascular
Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
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 diseases. High cholesterol levels,
moreover
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, can be reduced and controlled by eliminating
meat
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 from our
diet
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.
Additionally
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, sourcing food from alternatives to
meat
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 can reduce the negative environmental impact of industrial
meat
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 farming where huge swathes of natural habitat are lost every year to deforestation.
Meat
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 consumption,
however
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, is considered to be a reliable and essential source of vitamins and minerals that are crucial in maintaining physical health. A vegetarian
diet
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 lacks the important nutrients which are vital,
for example
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, when it comes to the healthy development of children.
As a result
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, these deficiencies need to be addressed by a high intake of supplements. One more consideration is that
meat
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 production is a billion-dollar industry on which millions of people rely
upon
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apply
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for employment and switching to a vegetarian culture would result in the loss of their livelihood.
To conclude
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, I believe a balance of
meat
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 and vegetables in one’s
diet
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 is the healthiest option that would have the advantage of safeguarding
peoples’
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people’s
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 jobs.
However
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, consumption of
meat
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 ought to be reduced for health and environmental reasons and alternatives should be considered.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and your conclusion summarises your viewpoint effectively. However, consider expanding on your points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs that each present a single idea. However, the connections between some ideas could be enhanced with more transitional phrases to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you maintain formal language throughout. While your tone is mostly appropriate, a few phrases could be more polished for an academic context. For example, consider replacing 'billion-dollar industry' with 'significant economic sector'.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, presenting a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
The use of specific terms related to health and environmental impacts demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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