Influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio-diversity What solutions can you suggest?

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Nowadays, human activities’ affection is indicated to be the main culprit of increasing species extinction and the loss of biodiversity.
This
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essay will examine some primary causes and some possible solutions to
this
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issue.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are two foremost factors that contribute to the depletion of the number of
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

around the world. The most prominent reasons are
deforestation
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and overpopulation. The number of people increasing day by day on
this
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globe imposes a great demand for satisfying basic needs
such
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as accommodation,
water
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, and other natural resources. In the past few decades,
deforestation
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has occurred faster and faster to make room for buildings, factories, houses, and other facilities, resulting in habitat degradation.
According to
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some research,
due to
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overexploitation of forest resources, a quarter of
animals
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and birds have died out in the
last
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two decades. Another factor is environmental pollution. From marine to
water
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, soil and air are all polluted;
thus
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, nearly every type of animal is affected, leading to the death of many lives.
For instance
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, a recent survey held in New Zealand found that toxic waste from factories has killed approximately half of the
water
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animals
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and become a reason for their extinction. Some possible action should be taken to tackle and mitigate the problem.
Firstly
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, people are to protect places where
animals
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and birds can live. The government can set up some rules and punish those who break them. Take India as an epitome; civilians there are fined financially for hunting or even can be
prisoned
Verb problem
imprisoned

There may be a verb use issue here.

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for up to seven years.
In addition
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, everyone could decrease wildlife poaching and trafficking to sustain the natural
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animals’
Change noun form
animals

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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population.
For example
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,
instead
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of consuming natural creatures’ meat or typical types of red meat
such
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as beef and pork, people should switch their habits to eating a clean, healthy diet with a variety of green vegetables and finding replaceable protein from plants. The other solution is to reduce the amount of polluted substances produced by human activities
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as pesticides, chemical fertilizers, or fossil fuel industries. We are able to create a safer environment for
animals
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by transforming the way we live little by little.
For example
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, using a canvas bag to go shopping or drinking
water
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from our own portable
water
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bottle
instead
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of consuming more and more plastic products will offer a less toxic habitat for
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To sum up
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, two primary causes of the loss of biodiversity are
deforestation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and pollution, which can be resolved by setting stricter rules for overexploitation and illegal
deforestation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
as well as
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discontinuing
consuming
Replace the word
the consumption of

The word consuming doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
wild
animals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and reducing the amount of polluted substances produced by human activities.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with logical progression from introduction, body paragraphs to conclusion. While your essay is well-structured, further enhancement could be achieved by tightening the logical connections between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and generally well-executed, but you could strengthen your conclusion by clearly summarizing your arguments instead of introducing new points.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, yet they could be strengthened with more varied examples and elaboration. Be careful not to overly generalize without providing specific evidence or data to support your claims.
task achievement
While you address both causes and solutions to biodiversity loss, ensure that each point is fully developed. Try to delve deeper into the discussion by expanding on the implications of each cause and the specifics of how each solution could be implemented.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but occasionally lack comprehensive explanations. Ensure you fully explain each point you make. Connecting your ideas back to the question can help maintain focus on the task at hand.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples, but their reliability could be enhanced by mentioning concrete studies, statistics, or sources. This would add authority to your argument and ensure the reader trusts the validity of your examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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