More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.   What problems does this cause?   What do you think is a possible solution?

Amount of customers in developing states who are buying cars for the first time
have
Change the verb form
has
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increased. The main problems
this
causes
air
Add a missing verb
are air
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pollution and raised
road
traffic
, and the most viable solution is
well-designed
Correct article usage
a well-designed
show examples
public
transport
system
. The primary issue developing countries face when their citizens start to buy cars is higher
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
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.
This
occurred
as a result
of fuel car exploitation that produces emissions
such
as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
gas CO2 and others, all of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
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exert
harmful
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a harmful
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influence on
Correct article usage
the planet
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planet
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planet's
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environment and
humans
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human
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health. The greater number of vehicles on the
road
is
also
responsible for a rise in
traffic
jams.
This
is because
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
road
system
is not adjustable for these new enormous amounts of cars, and competition for
road
resources
raise
Verb problem
rises
show examples
significantly which leads to
slowdown
Add an article
a slowdown
show examples
in
traffic
.
For example
, India has constant high
traffic
jams
due to
rapid economic and population growth,
specially
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especially
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in megacities. A solution
for
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to
show examples
these problems is to develop and improve
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transport
system
.
This
would solve the problems by expansion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
routes and public vehicles, and modernisation
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
logistic
Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
show examples
of the public
transport
network.
For example
, when Copenhagen faced an issue with gridlocks on roads, the authority decided to innovate and expand the
system
through building new metro and
buses
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bus
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lines. Thanks to
this
, they have succeeded with reduced private cars’
using
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use
show examples
and have
maintain
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maintained
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environmental well-being. In conclusion,
growing
Verb problem
the growth
show examples
of personal
transport
in
third
Correct word choice
third-world
show examples
states results in the emergence of issues
such
as atmospheric pollution and intense
traffic
on roads,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can be addressed
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
enhancing
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transportation network.
Submitted by bbelozertseva on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and precision in introduction and conclusion; both should succinctly introduce the topic, present a thesis, and prepare the reader for the specific discussion ahead, as well as bring closure to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Use stronger topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to establish clear main points and enhance overall coherence. Support these points systematically with more detailed development and examples.
task achievement
A fuller response to the task would involve a deeper analysis of the issue beyond the surface level, including exploration of secondary issues and implications. Consider expanding your coverage of potential solutions beyond a single option to reflect a more complex understanding.
task achievement
Enhance the depth and detail of ideas presented by including a wider range of specific, relevant examples that underscore your arguments. This adds credibility and weight to your analysis.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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