More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.   What problems does this cause?   What do you think is a possible solution?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Amount of customers in developing states who are buying cars for the first time
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
increased. The main problems
this
causes
air
Add a missing verb
are air
show examples
pollution and raised
road
traffic
, and the most viable solution is
well-designed
Correct article usage
a well-designed
show examples
public
transport
system
. The primary issue developing countries face when their citizens start to buy cars is higher
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
show examples
.
This
occurred
as a result
of fuel car exploitation that produces emissions
such
as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
gas CO2 and others, all of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
exert
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
influence on
Correct article usage
the planet
show examples
planet
Change noun form
planet's
show examples
environment and
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
health. The greater number of vehicles on the
road
is
also
responsible for a rise in
traffic
jams.
This
is because
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
road
system
is not adjustable for these new enormous amounts of cars, and competition for
road
resources
raise
Verb problem
rises
show examples
significantly which leads to
slowdown
Add an article
a slowdown
show examples
in
traffic
.
For example
, India has constant high
traffic
jams
due to
rapid economic and population growth,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in megacities. A solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
these problems is to develop and improve
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transport
system
.
This
would solve the problems by expansion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
routes and public vehicles, and modernisation
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
logistic
Fix the agreement mistake
logistics
show examples
of the public
transport
network.
For example
, when Copenhagen faced an issue with gridlocks on roads, the authority decided to innovate and expand the
system
through building new metro and
buses
Change the noun form
bus
show examples
lines. Thanks to
this
, they have succeeded with reduced private cars’
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
and have
maintain
Change the verb form
maintained
show examples
environmental well-being. In conclusion,
growing
Verb problem
the growth
show examples
of personal
transport
in
third
Correct word choice
third-world
show examples
states results in the emergence of issues
such
as atmospheric pollution and intense
traffic
on roads,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can be addressed
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
enhancing
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transportation network.
Submitted by bbelozertseva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and precision in introduction and conclusion; both should succinctly introduce the topic, present a thesis, and prepare the reader for the specific discussion ahead, as well as bring closure to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Use stronger topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to establish clear main points and enhance overall coherence. Support these points systematically with more detailed development and examples.
task achievement
A fuller response to the task would involve a deeper analysis of the issue beyond the surface level, including exploration of secondary issues and implications. Consider expanding your coverage of potential solutions beyond a single option to reflect a more complex understanding.
task achievement
Enhance the depth and detail of ideas presented by including a wider range of specific, relevant examples that underscore your arguments. This adds credibility and weight to your analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: