Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

At present, a lot of
news
agencies are more likely to inform the story that concentrates on negative aspects rather than positive aspects. Some argue that it is damaging both the person and the overview of the community. I partially agree with
this
reason, because I think that there are both positive and negative sides. I will provide my point of view in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, the positive aspect of the report that
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasises
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the problems is to remind
people
to recognize the situations that might have a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
victim
Change to a plural noun
victims
show examples
.
For example
, the newspaper reported
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
story about a multitude of water in the dam which is caused by heavy rain. In
this
news
, the local
people
can stay up to date with reporting in order to get themselves ready for urgent evacuation.
On the other hand
, there is
negative
Add an article
the negative
a negative
show examples
side of reporting that concentrates on the disasters. the
peoplewho
Correct your spelling
people who
have been following the
news
about the problem in society, tend to have
perspective
Correct article usage
a perspective
show examples
on the obstacle rather than attempting to find the solution to solve the problem.
For instance
, some
people
have followed the bad
news
for a long time, and they are more likely to get down and not effort to find the solution. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news
agencies report
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news
that emphasises
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solutions. I provided my opinions to explain
this
issue, that there are both positive and negative effects. the positive side is to remind
people
in order to get themselves ready for crisis. the negative side is causing
people
to get down and not want to seek the solution.
Submitted by mahawichet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure clarity in your introduction by stating your stance more definitively, rather than using phrases like 'I partially agree with this reason,' which can be ambiguous for the reader.
task achievement
Enhance the development of main points by offering more nuanced arguments and a balance of views to strengthen your position.
task achievement
Include more relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. This gives more weight to your arguments and makes them more convincing to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Arrange your ideas logically and include clear topic sentences to improve the essay flow and help the reader understand the structure easily.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a more cohesive argument by linking ideas between paragraphs and using appropriate connecting words to improve the overall fluidity of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: