Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.
The goal of every country is to have a rich economy.
However
, achieving this
target means social values can be disregarded. I believe that it will bring more drawbacks than its positive effects.
One of the benefits when most countries show economic growth is that, there are possibilities that employment rates also
increase. As a result
of economic development,more job opportunities will be offered to people
to help them achieve a standard of living. For instance
, in China and India, the rapid growth of the economy helps millions against poverty. Thus
, economic improvement can be one of the ways to aid people
in improving their lives as well.
However
, there are also
unpleasant results related to economic development. One of these is the importance of social values like interpersonal relationships that are being neglected. Moreover
, people
are more
focused on earning money that they intentionally do not communicate and socialize with others. Rephrase
so
For example
, instead
of spending time with family during holidays, others opt to work instead
because they prefer to gain funds to purchase unnecessary materials.
Additionally
, economic improvement is also
in line with increased consumerism. When people
save enough money, they choose to spend more, especially on insignificant things. So, instead
of keeping their salary for funding purposes, they will purchase things they do not really need. For example
, beauty products, clothing and other advertised services which are really unimportant.
In conclusion, although
economic growth provides occupational chances, I stand with the view that this
greatly provides negative results to humans, such
as affecting their abilities to socialize and becoming impulsive with uncontrolled spending.Submitted by cng123 on
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task response
Ensure to clearly state your position in the introduction and expand upon it in the conclusion. While this is present, it can be stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the coherence between paragraphs by using connectors such as 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore'.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used effectively, such as referencing China and India.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs focusing on distinct points, and a conclusion.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...