IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

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People of the whole world enjoy sports but the person who is
perticipating
Correct your spelling
participating
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the game
is needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
 to talented as well
hardworking
Correct word choice
as hardworking
show examples
. A lot of people think that being good at a sport is an output of talent others consider that
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from
heavily
Change the adverb
heavy
show examples
 practice. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
also
Linking Words
 I am on the side of hard work. At
first,
Linking Words
sports
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a great , and someone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be very talented to be a very
well knowned
Correct your spelling
well-known
 player.
This
Linking Words
 is something which comes genetically from previous ancestors.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are some games where talent is a must
such
Linking Words
 as chess. Here analytical thinking is the major bone of the game even if the player
try
Change the verb form
tries
show examples
 so hard to win but most of the period
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 genetically talented.
For example
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, my friend is good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 chess , and I tried a
lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lot
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 to lose him but could not. He won most of the time.
On the other hand
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, being good in play serious workout is mandatory. Maybe a person is talented even he might
be lose
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
 the game he
lose
Change the verb form
loses
show examples
 interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
repetive
Correct your spelling
repetitive
practicing
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practising
show examples
.
Besides
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this
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, by pushing own
everytime
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the person understands the fault he was doing and makes the correction which he could not
do
Wrong verb form
have done
show examples
 if he
did
Verb problem
had
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 not
practice
Wrong verb form
practised
show examples
 a lot.
For instance
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, Usain Bolt is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best runner in the whole world even
he
Correct word choice
though he
show examples
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 quite seriously from morning to night for being
ramain
Change the capitalization
Ramain
show examples
 the best.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is very clear that talent is something which everyone needs to do good in sports but without hard
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
 he might not get the ultimate result
eveytime
Correct your spelling
everytime
every time
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Your ideas seem scattered, and transitions between them are abrupt. Aim to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with separate ideas, and a cohesive conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on the introduction and conclusion to ensure they present the main topic and adequately summarize the discussion, respectively. Each should fulfill their specific purpose more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Each main point should be well-developed and supported with specific examples or explanations. Avoid general statements and aim for clarity and depth in your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. The essay should cover all views presented in the prompt with a balanced discussion. Your personal opinion should be clear and well-supported.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by expanding on them and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Avoid ambiguity and maintain a clear train of thought throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be directly relevant and clearly illustrate the point you are trying to make.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate abilities
  • Genetics
  • Exceptional skills
  • Training
  • Dedication
  • Discipline
  • Practice
  • Continuous improvement
  • Natural predisposition
  • Hone skills
  • Supportive environment
  • Coaching
  • Opportunities
  • Amplify attributes
  • Case studies
  • Evidence
  • Raw talent
  • Relentless hard work
  • Combination
  • Early signs
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