IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas. You would like some information about their courses. •ask about the school •say what kind of accommodation you want •mention any special requests you have (for example diet)

#study #english #school #information #courses #•ask #•say #accommodation #•mention #requests #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam The reason why I am addressing you is that I am planning to go to your
school
 to acquire the English language. So , I want to know some information about the
school
 and residence places. My friend's sister studied at your
school
 and she talked about the course
school
, but I would be grateful If you could tell me more information about the
school
 courses and
In addition
 to
this
, I want a one-room flat and there must be water and heating system supplies in my wanted apartment. I will send the payment beforehand,
hence
 you should write the click number, please These days, I am going on a diet because my doctor told me, you have some problems
your
Change preposition
with your
show examples
 well-being. Following that,he gave me recipes for dietary food, I need some help in terms of daily food supplies. I would appreciate it if you could give me a helping hand. I hope you will receive my letter. Best regards, Emma Watson
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The letter should begin with a more clear and engaging introduction, introducing the intention behind writing. Avoid starting abruptly with a vague reason. Clearly outline the main purpose at the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be better structured by summarizing the request and expressing anticipation for a response, which would provide a satisfactory closing to the letter.
coherence cohesion
Ideas and requests should be presented in a more logical and organized manner, ideally using paragraphs for each topic: courses, accommodation, and special requests.
task achievement
More specific examples should be given related to the desired course, the exact type of accommodation needed, and detailed diet requirements. This will enhance task achievement.
general
Check for language accuracy, such as correct use of prepositions, verb forms, and word choice (e.g., 'click number' appears to be a typographical error and should be clarified).
general
Enhance the letter by providing a more complete response to the task, giving all required details and structuring the content, so it is easy for the reader to identify key points and actions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: