Many feel that going tp the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For staying fit, some people prefer
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
and some prefer other effective options. From my perspective, there are several effective methods which can be more suitable for different people.
Firstly
,
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
is a better location to do daily
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
with or without
instruements
Correct your spelling
instruments
. In every
gym
, there is one or multiple
trainer
Change to a plural noun
trainers
show examples
for suggesting
Change preposition
to suggest
show examples
a person regarding his or her different
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
sequences after proper
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
.
As a result
, that person gets a linear guideline to follow and if he or she can follow those properly that will definitely help him or her to stay fit.
On the other hand
, there are lots of effective and modern methods for staying fit, namely food diet, outdoor
run
Replace the word
running
show examples
, outdoor
walk
Replace the word
walking
show examples
, free hand
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
at home, breathing
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
, cycling, swimming, sports etc. For
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mindfulness and physical fitness,
food
Correct article usage
a food
show examples
diet is always a better option.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, there are several free or paid
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
which can suggest your diet list after knowing your
body
and health details.
Similarly
, outdoor
walk
Replace the word
walking
show examples
or
run
Replace the word
running
show examples
gives high heart activity and burns bad fats from
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
. A
smart watch
Correct your spelling
smartwatch
show examples
can track our distances and heart activity precisely which helps us to maintain uniform daily running or walking activity. Some prefer meditation for fitness and
on the other hand
, many people prefer breathing
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
for mindfulness. Cycling and swimming are two fantastic ways to stay fit. Cycling gives a roaming experience and it keeps
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
active
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes the
body
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier by burning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy fats. Swimming
also
provides uniform
body
stress which helps to release the stress and increase metabolism.   In conclusion, there are many methods to keep our
body
fit
besides
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
. I always prefer sports for that.
Spcifically
Correct your spelling
Specifically
, 40 minutes of football is always enough
for giving
Change preposition
to give
show examples
me a good day and better fitness.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While you managed to present two opposing viewpoints and provide various examples, it would greatly benefit your essay if you enhanced the logical structure by introducing clear topic sentences that outline the main ideas at the beginning of each paragraph. This ensures that the reader can follow your argumentation more easily.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be improved by more explicitly paraphrasing the task prompt and by clearly summarizing the main points and your stance. This sharpens the overall focus of your essay and provides a coherent structure generating a more persuasive argument.
task achievement
Task achievement is strong with a complete response to the question, including a discussion of both views and your own opinion. However, to aim for a higher score, ensure that your essay consistently focuses on directly responding to the prompt throughout, without unnecessary deviation from the central topic.
task achievement
The presence of comprehensive ideas is good, but some can be more fully developed. Aim for depth over breadth; it's often better to expand more thoroughly on fewer points than to briefly mention many. This could involve delving into the implications or consequences of the points you discuss and relating them directly back to the question prompt.
task achievement
While relevant examples are provided, they can be further enhanced by ensuring that they are vivid and specific. This means not just stating general truths (such as 'food diet is a better option') but illustrating these with concrete examples or statistics that substantiate your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: