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Some people believe that sending childern to boarding schools at a very tender age is good To what extent do you agree or disagree write in 250 words

#people #childern #schools #tender #age
Home is considered to be the first school of the kids . Few individuals assert that
this
 is a novel idea to send them to residential schools at a very sensitive age . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 they will not
the
Add a missing verb
have the
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 love and the warmth
that is
 required at
this
 crucial age but if your child is a
spiled
Correct your spelling
spoiled
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 brat
then
 it can be
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
 for them To support my statement
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that at
this
 point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Add a comma
life,
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 they can not their own independent decisions and have to rely on their guardians . If the proper care is not given
then
 they will end up in
ditch
Add an article
a ditch
the ditch
show examples
 and their whole career will be ruined . If they are being sent to hostels it can lead them to
home sickness
Correct your spelling
homesickness
show examples
 and they will not be able to focus on their education . Moving ahead there are several other points that you should send them
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that they can face major health problems . As we know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these schools do not focus on the nourishment of the
childern
Correct your spelling
children
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 will never be able to get their hands on the extracurricular activities which horizon your view because the only thing that matters to them is the good results . There is
also
 another side to that the
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 will become independent and will try to take his own decisions .
This
 can help them to plan their career in a more organised way .
To conclude
 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to say that caretakers should only send their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 to these hostels when both the parents are working and are not able to devote much more time
that
Correct word choice
than
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 is required .
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
show examples
childern
Correct your spelling
children
required
Wrong verb form
require
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 their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
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 love and warmth very much and need help at every stage of life to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible and
respectible
Correct your spelling
respectable
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
Submitted by dewansurbhee7 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should broadly state the topic and your position. The body should expand on your arguments with clear main points and supporting details. The conclusion should summarize your points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to create logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Currently, the essay lacks clear and effective transitions which can make the arguments difficult to follow.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the prompt. State your position clearly in the introduction and ensure all paragraphs consistently support your argument. Introduce counterarguments as necessary, but always redirect to your main point.
task achievement
Provide relevant, specific examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing. The lack of specific examples makes the essay less persuasive.
task achievement
Try to maintain a formal register throughout the essay. Avoid using informal language and contractions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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