More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recently,
people
who want to buy famous brands in terms of clothes
cars and other items
have increased significantly. in my opinion, there are some causes of this
situation which are finding a good opportunity for a job
, some fines for a famous person
and getting some respect
.
Firstly
one of the reasons for this
situation is finding a good job
. In other words
, some people
when they have a job
interviewRephrase
apply
however
,they
advance to buy a famous brand of Correct pronoun usage
apply
Clothes
to get a good reputation in terms of acceptance for a job
. as
a result, Capitalize word
As
this
action helps people
to increase the rate of acceptance which leads to give them a great work.
Secondly
,another reason for this
case is friends with a famous person
. One clear example, in Yemen, there are some fans to
a famous Change preposition
of
person
who is called Hazem ,they they imitate this
person
in terms of clothes
and cars which leads them to buy rich items
that are as same as the famous person
.Thus
, some of them buy expensive ATMs because,
they are already obsessed with famouses.
Remove the comma
apply
Thirdly
, there are some Bible where are expensive clothes
to get respect
. To illustrate, there are some individuals who respect
the person
who wears rich brand clothes
or rides an expensive car which leads them to buy expensive items
to get some respect
. As a result
, they usually buy these items
for showing.
To sum up
, these are the main reasons which make people
buy expensive brand items
.If people
bought expensive things such
as cars and clothes
, they would get debt and, it would yield to them in a terrible way in the future.Submitted by asomm5563 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs improvement in the logical structure. Consider using clearer transitions between points and creating distinct paragraphs for each main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that an introduction and a conclusion are clearly delineated. Your essay should start with an overview and end with a summarization of your main points or a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with more detailed examples and explanations to increase the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Expand on the ideas presented to fully answer the essay prompt. You should explore the reasons and the impacts of the trend, as well as your own viewpoint on whether it is positive or negative.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by organizing them more logically, using a range of vocabulary to express them precisely, and ensuring each point is developed comprehensively.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Each reason you state should be followed by a clear example or a piece of evidence that supports your point of view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.