In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. what are the causes and its solution?

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies

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The extreme

pressure

Use synonyms

to study hard has left many young one’s

student

Change to a plural noun

students

show examples

left

Verb problem

apply

show examples

with

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of idle

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

situation is caused not only by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parental

pressure

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

by limited

job

Use synonyms

opportunities. The plausible solution would be to

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

the

pressure

Use synonyms

and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should provide volunteer

work

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

pressurize

Verb problem

pressure

show examples

their

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

to excel in

the

Change the word

their

show examples

studies

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

pressure

Use synonyms

consequently

Linking Words

left

Wrong verb form

leaves

show examples

them with no free

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the

parents

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want their

child

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to perform best in academics and develop unique attributes, which could aid in becoming

successful

Add an article

a successful

show examples

individual.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

job

Use synonyms

opportunities are

jam packed

Add a hyphen

jam-packed

show examples

in every domain, everyone wants to have

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

job

Use synonyms

in their own field.

For Instance

Linking Words

, Marketing is one of the very competitive jobs, so to

standout

Correct your spelling

stand out

show examples

juveniles are spending maximum

time

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studies

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, individuals spend more

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

improving their career opportunities. Despite these problems,

parents

Use synonyms

and government should join hands to mitigate the issue.

Birth Givers

Correct your spelling

Birthgivers

should focus on providing better

guide

Replace the word

guidance

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of just pressuring their

child

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. To explicate, the

parents

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should stop expecting more than the

caliber

Change the spelling

calibre

show examples

of the

child

Use synonyms

which would eventually provide some free

time

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to them for other activities.

This

Linking Words

will ameliorate the situation by improving their mental health and could focus

apparently

Rephrase

apply

show examples

on the

studies

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, Volunteer

work

Use synonyms

should be provided by the authorities, which would improve the chance of entering

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the field

job

Use synonyms

conveniently and quickly.

For Instance

Linking Words

, after

Use synonyms

studies

Add a comma

studies,

show examples

2 months

work

Use synonyms

opportunity should be provided under

renowned

Correct article usage

a renowned

show examples

company to foster their chance of getting

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

job

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, the

pressure

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is imperative,

nevertheless

Linking Words

it should be reduced and the

post graduation

Add a hyphen

post-graduation

show examples

2-month

work

Use synonyms

should be provided to solve the issue of less

job

Use synonyms

availability.

Submitted by mdkaur84 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, indicating the position on the topic; however, structurally, it lacks clear logical sequencing and paragraphing. To improve, it should include clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs and the argument points should follow a more logical sequence.

task achievement

While the essay covers the topic, there is room for improvement in expanding and developing the main points with clear and comprehensive ideas. The essay should provide more detailed explanations along with fleshing out each point with examples. Additionally, it would be beneficial to address all aspects of the task equally to enhance the completeness of the response.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

high expectations
academic success
future success
competitive nature
modern education systems
top grades
prestigious universities
high-paying jobs
rise of technology
social media platforms
physical activities
relaxation
extracurricular demands
multiple responsibilities
economic factors
lower-income families
part-time jobs
academic pressures

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In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. what are the causes and its solution?

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that school teaches children a skill but others think having a range of subjects is better for the children's future. Discuss both sides.

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country

make the content better by using advance grammer to get 6.5 INitls

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?