In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. what are the causes and the solution?

The extreme
pressure
to study hard has left many young
one’s
Change the noun form
ones
one
show examples
with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of idle
time
.
This
situation is caused not only by parental
pressure
but
also
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited
job
opportunities. The plausible solution would be reducing the
pressure
and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should provide volunteer
work
.
Although
parents
pressurize
Verb problem
pressure
show examples
their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to excel in their studies,
this
pressure
consequently
left
Wrong verb form
leaves
show examples
them with no free
time
.
This
is because the
parents
want their
child
to perform best in academics and develop unique attributes, which could aid in becoming
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
individual.
Moreover
, the
job
opportunities are jam-packed and everyone wants to have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
job
in their own field.
For Instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Marketing is one of the very competitive jobs, so to
standout
Correct your spelling
stand out
show examples
juveniles are spending maximum
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
studies.
Thus
, individuals spend more
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving their career opportunities. Despite these problems,
parents
and government should join hands to mitigate the issue. The Birth Givers should focus on providing better guidance
instead
of just forcing their
child
. To explicate, the
parents
should stop expecting more than the
caliber
Change the spelling
calibre
show examples
of the
child
which would eventually provide some free
time
to them for other activities.
This
will ameliorate the situation by improving their mental health and they could focus apparently on their school
work
.
Additionally
, Volunteer
work
should be provided by the authorities, which would improve the chance of entering
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the field
job
conveniently and quickly.
For Instance
, after the
studies
Add a comma
studies,
show examples
2 months
work
an opportunity should be provided under
renowned
Correct article usage
a renowned
show examples
company to accelerate their chance of getting
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better
job
.
To conclude
, the
pressure
is imperative,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
it should be reduced, and the
post graduation
Add a hyphen
post-graduation
show examples
2-month
work
should be provided to solve the issue of less
job
availability.
Submitted by mdkaur84 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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