In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. what are the causes and the solution?
The extreme
pressure
to study hard has left many young one’s
with Change the noun form
ones
one
lack
of idle Correct article usage
a lack
time
. This
situation is caused not only by parental pressure
but also
by the
limited Correct article usage
apply
job
opportunities. The plausible solution would be reducing the pressure
and government
should provide volunteer Correct article usage
the government
work
.
Although
parents
pressurize
their Verb problem
pressure
child
to excel in their studies, Fix the agreement mistake
children
this
pressure
consequently
left
them with no free Wrong verb form
leaves
time
. This
is because the parents
want their child
to perform best in academics and develop unique attributes, which could aid in becoming successful
individual. Add an article
a successful
Moreover
, the job
opportunities are jam-packed and everyone wants to have better
Add an article
a better
job
in their own field. For Instance
, the
Marketing is one of the very competitive jobs, so to Correct article usage
apply
standout
juveniles are spending maximum Correct your spelling
stand out
time
in
Change preposition
on
the
studies. Change the word
their
Thus
, individuals spend more time
in
improving their career opportunities.
Despite these problems, Change preposition
apply
parents
and government should join hands to mitigate the issue. The Birth Givers should focus on providing better guidance instead
of just forcing their child
. To explicate, the parents
should stop expecting more than the caliber
of the Change the spelling
calibre
child
which would eventually provide some free time
to them for other activities. This
will ameliorate the situation by improving their mental health and they could focus apparently on their school work
. Additionally
, Volunteer work
should be provided by the authorities, which would improve the chance of entering in
the field Change preposition
apply
job
conveniently and quickly. For Instance
, after the studies
2 months Add a comma
studies,
work
an opportunity should be provided under renowned
company to accelerate their chance of getting Correct article usage
a renowned
the
better Correct article usage
a
job
.
To conclude
, the pressure
is imperative, nevertheless
it should be reduced, and the Add a comma
nevertheless,
post graduation
2-month Add a hyphen
post-graduation
work
should be provided to solve the issue of less job
availability.Submitted by mdkaur84 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear logical structure. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a single main idea and use linking words to create better flow between sentences and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your introduction and conclusion to clearly present the topic and summarize your arguments, ensuring there's no new information in the conclusion.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing an equal treatment of causes and solutions, and make sure your ideas are thorough and extended appropriately.
task achievement
Make your ideas clear and comprehensive; avoid ambiguity or general statements that do not directly answer the task prompt.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. Without concrete examples, your argument may appear weak or unsubstantiated.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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