In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. causes amd solutions?

#countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies #amd

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The extreme

pressure

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to study hard has left many young ones with a lack of idle

time

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This

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situation is caused not only by parental

pressure

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but

also

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by limited

job

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opportunities. A plausible solution would be reducing the stress and the government should provide volunteer work.

Although

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parents

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pressure

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their children to excel in their studies,

this

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burden

consequently

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leaves them with no free

time

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This

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is because the

parents

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want their child to perform best in academics and develop unique attributes, which could aid in becoming a successful individual.

Moreover

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, the

job

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opportunities are jam-packed, and everyone wants to have a better

job

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in their own field.

For Instance

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, Marketing is one of the very competitive domains, so to stand out juveniles are spending maximum

time

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studying.

Thus

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, individuals spend more

time

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improving their career opportunities. Despite these problems,

parents

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and government should join hands to mitigate

this

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issue. The Birth Givers should focus on providing better guidance

instead

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of just forcing their child to read. To explicate, the

parents

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should stop expecting more than the calibre of the child which would eventually provide some free

time

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to them for other activities.

This

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will ameliorate the situation by improving their mental health and they could focus apparently on their studies.

Additionally

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, Volunteer work should be provided by the authorities, which would improve the chance of entering the field

job

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conveniently and quickly.

For Instance

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, after the studies, a

month

Replace the word

monthly

show examples

performance opportunity should be provided under the renowned company to accelerate their chance of getting the dream

job

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To conclude

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, the

pressure

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is imperative,

nevertheless

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, it should be reduced, and the post-graduation 2-month work should be provided to solve the issue of less

job

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availability.

Submitted by mdkaur84 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Consider using a clearer, more formal structure in your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion. Avoid informal phrases such as 'Birth Givers' and use more academic language throughout.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing a strong thesis in your introduction and a restatement of this thesis in your conclusion. This ensures your essay remains consistent and effectively communicates its main ideas.

coherence cohesion

Expand and clarify your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. Where possible, provide real-life examples, statistics, or references to studies that can substantiate your arguments.

task achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. You should spend an equal amount of time discussing both causes and solutions while directly linking them to the issue of young people having little leisure time.

task achievement

Clarify and elaborate on your solutions by linking them to the causes you have outlined. Your solutions should directly address the specifics of the problem presented in the task.

task achievement

Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your ideas and make your arguments more convincing. They should be directly related to the topic and provide evidence for the claims you are making.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. causes amd solutions?

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.