In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in studies. causes amd solutions?
The extreme
pressure
to study hard has left many young ones with a lack of idle time
. This
situation is caused not only by parental pressure
but also
by limited job
opportunities. A plausible solution would be reducing the stress and the government should provide volunteer work.
Although
parents
pressure
their children to excel in their studies, this
burden consequently
leaves them with no free time
. This
is because the parents
want their child to perform best in academics and develop unique attributes, which could aid in becoming a successful individual. Moreover
, the job
opportunities are jam-packed, and everyone wants to have a better job
in their own field. For Instance
, Marketing is one of the very competitive domains, so to stand out juveniles are spending maximum time
studying. Thus
, individuals spend more time
improving their career opportunities.
Despite these problems, parents
and government should join hands to mitigate this
issue. The Birth Givers should focus on providing better guidance instead
of just forcing their child to read. To explicate, the parents
should stop expecting more than the calibre of the child which would eventually provide some free time
to them for other activities. This
will ameliorate the situation by improving their mental health and they could focus apparently on their studies. Additionally
, Volunteer work should be provided by the authorities, which would improve the chance of entering the field job
conveniently and quickly. For Instance
, after the studies, a month
performance opportunity should be provided under the renowned company to accelerate their chance of getting the dream Replace the word
monthly
job
.
To conclude
, the pressure
is imperative, nevertheless
, it should be reduced, and the post-graduation 2-month work should be provided to solve the issue of less job
availability.Submitted by mdkaur84 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider using a clearer, more formal structure in your essay, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion. Avoid informal phrases such as 'Birth Givers' and use more academic language throughout.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a strong thesis in your introduction and a restatement of this thesis in your conclusion. This ensures your essay remains consistent and effectively communicates its main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Expand and clarify your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. Where possible, provide real-life examples, statistics, or references to studies that can substantiate your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. You should spend an equal amount of time discussing both causes and solutions while directly linking them to the issue of young people having little leisure time.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your solutions by linking them to the causes you have outlined. Your solutions should directly address the specifics of the problem presented in the task.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your ideas and make your arguments more convincing. They should be directly related to the topic and provide evidence for the claims you are making.
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