IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You recently read an article in the newspaper about someone whom you know personally but have not heard from in a long time. You found that some of the information published was incorrect.

#article #newspaper #someone #time #information
Dear Sir, My name is Ali , a reader of your
article
 in
British
Add an article
a British
show examples
 newspaper. Yesterday I noticed that you wrote about the singer Mikey who I have
been knowing
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
personally since we
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 together at
musical coral
Correct your spelling
Musical Coral
show examples
,So most of your information was incorrect leading me to
Add a missing verb
be disappointment
show examples
disappointment
Replace the word
disappointed
show examples
 and frustrated
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
I
write
Wrong verb form
am writing
show examples
this
 letter to elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 mistake you have written. Your
article
 was
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 knowledgeable
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 ancient songs. you tell about The struggles faced
mankind
Change preposition
by mankind
show examples
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time. Even more, the
singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 handle
this
 issue And discuss
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of songs to deliver to the audience. The most error you mentioned in the
article
 was the date of
released
Wrong verb form
release
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 famous song “quiet”,
Secondly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
 you mentioned apart from his personal life
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 is illegal to write About person life of
singer
Correct article usage
a singer
show examples
 without permission. I would like to invite you
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a dinner
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
correction
Replace the word
correct
show examples
 the errors.
Furthermore
,
releas
Correct your spelling
release
releasing
released
 a new
article
 to inform the audience and readers about incorrect information you have written on the previous one. Looking forward to your response Faithfully yours. Ali
Submitted by enasawad68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
In regards to task response, your letter does not fully address the requirements of the task. You have mentioned a personal connection and pointed out some errors, but the letter lacks specific details and does not clarify what the incorrect information was or what the impact could be. To improve, ensure you fully answer all parts of the task and expand on specific points to give your letter greater impact and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a need for improvement in coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is not clearly established as ideas seem to be presented in a random order, and there is a lack of clear progression from one idea to the next. Transitions between ideas are also lacking, affecting the flow of your writing. To enhance this, plan your essay to have a clear beginning, middle, and end, along with using transition words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: