IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent era, the
Government
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 have spent a
lot
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 of
money
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 to improve the railways, buses, and new metro
services
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 within the cities. Even, there are
also
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 available huge
government
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grants
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 to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
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local
art
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 galleries like cinemas and museums. It is completely agreed to give more priority to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
services
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 over the
development
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Use synonyms
art
Change preposition
of art
show examples
 locations.
This
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 essay will cover the necessity to improve the local transportation system for the
people
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 to travel in the city
as well as
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 the
Art
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development
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Grants
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 that must be distributed to the public transportation
development
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 by the
government
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 in coming years which will prove
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
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,
People
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 are facing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulties in travelling in metro cities because
limited
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of limited
show examples
 railways and bus frequency during working hours and there is
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
 flux of migration in the future as well.
For example
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, Mumbai city will require
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more public
services
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 to fulfil the requirements of the
people
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.
Alternative
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Alternatively
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, the metro
rails
Change the noun form
rail
show examples
development
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 must be fastened to meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future requirements.
Secondly
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,
Government
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 has a spent
lot
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 of
money
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 to develop new cultural sites to create a national image around the globe.
For instance
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, it is
Correct article usage
a completely
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completely
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complete
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 waste of
money
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 for the country which can
used
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
 to improve the needed facilities.
For Example
Linking Words
, The Statue of Unity
development
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 done by the Gujarat
government
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wasted
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lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of taxpayer’s
money
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instead
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 of utilising for other purposes.
Furthermore
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, there is always a limited financial grant to the local states provided by
central
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the central
show examples
government
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.
Therefore
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, it will be better to pass
such
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grants
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 to the public
services
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 over the
art
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sites
Fix the agreement mistake
site
show examples
 expansion. To summarise, an
art
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sites
Change the noun form
site
show examples
 does not solve the local taxpayer’s purpose, but the
money
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 is wasted to create the
Use synonyms
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 image globally.
Therefore
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, it is clear to use
this
Linking Words
 grant to improve the primary facilities which will arise in coming years and the developing
nation
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 has
grants
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 are limited, it must be utilised to improve transportation facilities because the
Use synonyms
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 brand image may cause
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lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
inconvenient
Replace the word
inconvenience
show examples
 to the
people
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 of
Use synonyms
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction includes a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay. It should also provide a brief overview, setting the context for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion should summarize the key points discussed in the essay and clearly state your position on the topic. It should leave the reader with a final thought that encapsulates the essence of your argument.
logical structure
Develop a logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations.
supported main points
Your essay would benefit from deeper analysis and more detailed support for your arguments. Use a range of relevant examples, and explain how they illustrate your points effectively.
complete response
To fully address the task, you need to present a balanced argument discussing both sides of the topic. Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay and adequately supported by your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand on your ideas to help the reader fully understand your arguments. Use specific examples and details to make your ideas comprehensive and convincing.
relevant specific examples
Include specific and directly relevant examples to support your arguments. Avoid general statements and instead provide concrete evidence or case studies where necessary to substantiate your claims.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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