Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this.

Air
pollution
is one of the severe problems that should be
concerned
Verb problem
addressed
show examples
as
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
as possible.
While some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
people believe that international
car-free
days
are an effective approach to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the contamination of
air
polluted
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. In
this
essay, I side with those who feel that there are any sensible other measures to deal with that issue. Let us
by looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
at the fact that international
car-free
days
are not an
adept
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
solution to reduce
air
pollution
. Undeniably, the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
of private
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
to migrate will not allowed when the event of
car-free
days
run. It means that the number of CO2 contamination
that is
produced by riding motorcycles will
reduce
Wrong verb form
be reduced
show examples
.
However
, it is only
temporary
Correct article usage
a temporary
show examples
effect, after that event
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
finished, people can drive their cars, producing CO2.
For instance
, Surakarta Indonesia
run
Change the verb form
runs
show examples
car-free
Correct article usage
a car-free
show examples
day every Sunday, but the rate of
air
pollution
there still
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
the highest than among cities in Central Java Indonesia.
Hence
, it cannot be denied that
to tackle
Change the verb form
tackling
show examples
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
pollution
problem
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
other ways. Turning to other measures
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
categorized
proper
Change the adjective
properly
show examples
than running
car-free
days
.
Firstly
, the government should develop electric public vehicles with comfortable facilities. Without
doubt
Correct article usage
a doubt
show examples
, societies will
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
use public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
to private cars.
As a result
, the more people put off using private motorcycles, the better
air
quality will be.
Secondly
, providing green space either by renovating
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
or planting trees
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
public areas is a sensible approach. The appearance of trees will absorb
air
pollution
directly. As an example, Japan, after offering
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern public
tranportations
Correct your spelling
transportation
transportations
and creating green
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
, the proportion of
contaminating
Wrong verb form
contaminated
show examples
air
polluted
Replace the word
pollution
show examples
decrese
Correct your spelling
decreases
gradually
year
Change preposition
from year
show examples
to year.
Thus
, it is undeniable that there are
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other ways
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more effective than running international
car-free
days
.
Consequently
, if the government provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper public transportation and
expand
Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
show examples
the green areas, it can solve
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
pollution
issue.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logically structured flow of ideas, which hinders the reader's comprehension. It's important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with each paragraph discussing a single idea or point. Use cohesive devices appropriately and avoid repeating points.
task achievement
While you addressed the task and presented a position, the essay does not fully extend and support its main points with specific details and examples. For a higher score, expand on your ideas with clear explanations and use a variety of sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transportation
  • public transportation
  • bicycling
  • walking
  • reduce emissions
  • vehicle exhaust
  • traffic congestion
  • urban planning
  • environmental impact
  • behavioral change
  • carbon footprint
  • government regulations
  • awareness campaigns
  • air quality
  • pollutants
What to do next:
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