Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this.

#people #car-free #air #polution

Air

pollution

is one of the severe problems that should be

concerned

Verb problem

addressed

show examples

effective

Change the word

effectively

show examples

as possible.

While some

Correct word choice

Some

show examples

people believe that international

car-free

days

are an effective approach to

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

the contamination of

air

polluted

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. In

this

essay, I side with those who feel that there are any sensible other measures to deal with that issue. Let us

by looking

Wrong verb form

look

show examples

at the fact that international

car-free

days

are not an

adept

Correct word choice

appropriate

show examples

solution to reduce

air

pollution

. Undeniably, the

using

Replace the word

use

show examples

of private

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

to migrate will not allowed when the event of

car-free

days

run. It means that the number of CO2 contamination

that is

produced by riding motorcycles will

reduce

Wrong verb form

be reduced

show examples

However

, it is only

temporary

Correct article usage

a temporary

show examples

effect, after that event

are

Change the verb form

show examples

finished, people can drive their cars, producing CO2.

For instance

, Surakarta Indonesia

run

Change the verb form

runs

show examples

car-free

Correct article usage

a car-free

show examples

day every Sunday, but the rate of

air

pollution

there still

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

the highest than among cities in Central Java Indonesia.

Hence

, it cannot be denied that

to tackle

Change the verb form

tackling

show examples

air

Correct article usage

the air

show examples

pollution

problem

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

other ways. Turning to other measures

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

categorized

proper

Change the adjective

properly

show examples

than running

car-free

days

Firstly

, the government should develop electric public vehicles with comfortable facilities. Without

doubt

Correct article usage

a doubt

show examples

, societies will

prefer

Add the particle

prefer to

show examples

use public

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

to private cars.

As a result

, the more people put off using private motorcycles, the better

air

quality will be.

Secondly

, providing green space either by renovating

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

or planting trees

Change preposition

show examples

public areas is a sensible approach. The appearance of trees will absorb

air

pollution

directly. As an example, Japan, after offering

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern public

tranportations

Correct your spelling

transportation

transportations

and creating green

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

, the proportion of

contaminating

Wrong verb form

contaminated

show examples

air

polluted

Replace the word

pollution

show examples

decrese

Correct your spelling

decreases

gradually

year

Change preposition

from year

show examples

to year.

Thus

, it is undeniable that there are

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

other ways

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more effective than running international

car-free

days

Consequently

, if the government provide

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proper public transportation and

expand

Correct subject-verb agreement

expands

show examples

the green areas, it can solve

air

Correct article usage

the air

show examples

pollution

issue.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sun Dec 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear and logically structured flow of ideas, which hinders the reader's comprehension. It's important to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with each paragraph discussing a single idea or point. Use cohesive devices appropriately and avoid repeating points.

task achievement

While you addressed the task and presented a position, the essay does not fully extend and support its main points with specific details and examples. For a higher score, expand on your ideas with clear explanations and use a variety of sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainable transportation
public transportation
bicycling
walking
reduce emissions
vehicle exhaust
traffic congestion
urban planning
environmental impact
behavioral change
carbon footprint
government regulations
awareness campaigns
air quality
pollutants

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Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?