Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it doesn't solve poverty. therefore developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers with examples.
Offering help to the
needies
is always a good virtue all human beings should uphold. Correct your spelling
needy
neediest
However
, how to best provide the assitance
to those disadvantaged is deemed Correct your spelling
assistance
as
a really complicated and difficult question. Rich Change preposition
apply
countries
often support the less developed countries
with financial aids
, yet their poverty issues still persist. Fix the agreement mistake
aid
Therefore
, I strongly agree that the more developed countries
should not offer help purely through pumping money.
In Chinese, we have a traditional wisdom called "teach them how to fish, rather than give them the fish". The same idea should apply to this
unsolved situation which
the advantaged should share their knowledge with the poor Change preposition
in which
countries
. This
is backed by the history of Japan, which this
country experienced an economic rebounce
right after WWII Correct your spelling
rebound
due to
the chip technology they learned from the USA. To transform countries
from scarcity, they must be able to equip themselves with special skills and develop their competitive edges.
Nonetheless
, it is often easier said than done, some consider sharing intellectual property senstive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
due to
conflict of interest - at the end
of the day, countries
are competing against each others
. It is true in the sense that the chip development in Japan has outperformed that in the USA, threatening the national security of the latter country. Change to a singular noun
other
However
, this
can be solved by mutual collaboration, benefiting both countries
. For example
, the USA is ahead of Japan in the
Correct article usage
apply
Artifical
Intelligent development, the knowledge can be used as an exchange of the chip technology, advancing both Correct your spelling
Artificial
kind
of technologies in both Change to a plural noun
kinds
countries
.
In conclusion, I am a strong advocate on
knowledge and skills exchange as compared to relying solely on financial support, which the former Change preposition
of
one
is believed to be more long-term and Correct pronoun usage
apply
resulting
in a more profound effect.Wrong verb form
result
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introduction conclusion present
While the essay introduces and concludes the topic, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion more impactful. Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reiterates your stance.
supported main points
The essay presents a main idea and a counterargument; however, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. It would benefit from deeper analysis and a more thorough explanation of how skill and knowledge transfer can effectively reduce poverty.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay partially addresses the task, offering a clear opinion, but it could reflect a wider range of ideas, showing the complexities of the issue. Aim to provide a more nuanced argument and acknowledge other potential forms of non-financial aid that could benefit poorer countries.
relevant specific examples
The use of Japan as an example is pertinent, but the essay would strengthen its argument by providing additional specific examples or evidence to support the main points. Use a variety of examples from different contexts to illustrate your points.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, but there are opportunities to improve the transitions and connections between paragraphs for a more seamless reading experience. Pay attention to the use of linking words and cohesive devices that help to guide the reader from one point to the next.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.