IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Do you think that education and training should be completely free or it is better to require fully paid tuition? Which way do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#education #tuition #support
Education
 plays a crucial role in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives
enormlously
Correct your spelling
enormously
. Whether it should
provide
Wrong verb form
be provided
show examples
 without
cost
 or fully paid
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a debatable issue in the world. I consider
education
 and
traning
Correct your spelling
training
 should
give
Wrong verb form
be given
show examples
 freely without any
cost
 from the government.
This
 essay shall discuss it
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with, all students may get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
 when it
provides
Wrong verb form
is provided
show examples
 completely free because many people still be the
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poverty line,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 cannot spend money on their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education
,
thus
,
massive
Add an article
a massive
the massive
show examples
 amount of learners stop their
education
 without
completing
Correct pronoun usage
completing it
show examples
.
For example
, rural
area's
Change noun form
areas
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are affected tremendously
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 getting
Correct article usage
an eduaction
show examples
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
 because they are being the underpoverty line and they think
edcation
Correct your spelling
education
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
afford
Replace the word
affordable
show examples
 for rich and
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
 people,
hence
, the authorities should be provided free training to their citizens in order to they will contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 country's ecnomy and infrasture development in future when they become earners.
Furthermore
, the
illetracy
Correct your spelling
illiteracy
literacy
 ratio will be reduced when
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
 is allocated freely to all.
Education
 can change the folk's lifestyle from the underprivileged to the better positions.
For instance
, a person who from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 poor family completes his
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 through
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
 scholarship, he is able to change
totally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
his family situation from poor to wealthy because
education
 has the super power, it not only gives knowledge but
also
 changes the population's lifestyle.
Therefore
,
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
 should
provide
Wrong verb form
be provided
show examples
 without
cost
.
To conclude
,
education
 has
power
Change the article
the power
show examples
 to change everything, so, it should be freely given to folks in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their lifestyle could be changed dramatically as compared to the past.
Therefore
, My preference is
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
education
 should
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
show examples
 without
cost
instead
 of fully paid. I hope
this
phonomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 drives more benefits to society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, followed by an explanation or an example that supports that idea. Connect these paragraphs with appropriate transition words to maintain a smooth flow.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to improve readability and avoid repetitiveness. This variation will contribute to the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to fully develop your main points with relevant, detailed examples. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a complete understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to accuracy in grammar and punctuation; proofread your work to correct errors as they can obscure the meaning of your sentences and reduce the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Refine your concluding paragraph to effectively summarize your main points and restate your thesis, providing a clear conclusion to your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: