Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
With an ever-increasing concern about the responsibilities of dangerous
sports
, some individuals
have opined that dangerous sports
should be banned. The rest of the population, however
, raised a counterargument that individuals
should have the freedom to choose any sport or activity. This
essay will, therefore
, evaluate both arguments and present concluding viewpoints.
To begin
with, some individuals
argue that governments should ban dangerous sports
. From the perspective of students
, they have been suffering from the lack of information and knowledge of dangerous sports
due to
the circumstances where students
have been exposed to dangerous sports
with no regulations. Therefore
, those students
can be
actually Verb problem
apply
benefited
from the activated policy of law legislation on dangerous Wrong verb form
benefit
sports
. Furthermore
, compared to random nations without regulations on dangerous sports
, students
with strict regulations have shown an increased level of understanding of possible hazardous information in some sports
.
In spite of those reasons above, other oppositions contend that individuals
should have the freedom to do any sports
. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to adults can illuminate a different perspective. The priority is to maximize their mental and physical well-being and enhance human rights and this
consequently
demonstrates that choosing dangerous sports
with awareness of possible harms. Thus
, making decisions about banning dangerous sports
should not be made based on the side of students
. Moreover
, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between dangerous sports
and the free will of choosing sports
.
In conclusion, some individuals
argue that dangerous sports
should be banned by governments. Nevertheless
, I firmly believe that making a strategy for dangerous sports
more achievable will require more consideration and thus
most relevant parties in society should be entirely involved for more sustainable advantages.Submitted by rachael0124 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear and focused main idea. The second body paragraph could be more concise and directly related to the argument about personal freedom.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify complex sentences for better readability. Simplifying certain phrases can help convey your ideas more effectively.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and provides a roadmap for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and offers a balanced discussion, which is essential for a high score in task response.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow in the essay, and ideas are generally well-organized and structured.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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