Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Nowadays,
people
have more choices in Use synonyms
sports
than in the past, Use synonyms
however
, some of them might be dangerous and might even threaten Linking Words
human's
life. Change noun form
human
Therefore
, some Linking Words
people
want to set a limitation to join these insecure exercises. In my opinion, I partially agree with Use synonyms
this
stance, I think Linking Words
people
can choose the Use synonyms
sports
they want, meanwhile, they should Use synonyms
also
follow several instructions or rules, the following content will list the reasons.
Linking Words
First,
some of the Linking Words
sports
are not suitable for normal Use synonyms
people
, Use synonyms
such
as extreme Linking Words
sports
. Without professional training, they might hurt themselves. Use synonyms
For example
, diving is an amazing way to explore the undersea world and visit Linking Words
the
submarine lives. Correct article usage
apply
Linking Words
While diving
under the sea could be fatal when facing some emergent situations, like the disorder of the equipment, Correct word choice
Diving
lacking
of oxygen and Replace the word
lack
encounter
Wrong verb form
encountering
an
unfriendly sealife. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, the policy about Linking Words
the
basic training before diving should be published, in order to reduce tragedies from the Correct article usage
apply
freshmans
.
Correct your spelling
freshmen
Secondly
, protective equipment is Linking Words
also
Linking Words
a
vital and basic for these Correct article usage
apply
sports
. In certain Use synonyms
sports
, Use synonyms
the
protection is needed for either professionals or Correct article usage
apply
freshmans
, because even Correct your spelling
freshmen
the
former is more Correct word choice
if the
skillful
and experienced, they might get injured as well. Change the spelling
skilful
For instance
, Linking Words
rockclimbing
is a challenging exercise, without the Correct your spelling
rock climbing
assiatance
of anchors, safe belts and protective gloves, a steep wall could make a climbing expert drop down to the ground easily. Correct your spelling
assistance
As a result
, every climber should follow the rules and instructions before they climb.
In conclusion, because of potential risks, we should set up limitations Linking Words
about
certain Change preposition
on
exercise
, these rules can not only protect our lives but Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
also
let us enjoy Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
sports
easily.Use synonyms
Submitted by chaoweikevin on
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coherence cohesion
Be sure to establish clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea for each paragraph. Your essay shows each paragraph covering different points, but better topic sentences will make the progression of ideas clearer. Also, work on ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one another, using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link your ideas and reinforce the structure.
task achievement
Your response covers both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion, which is good. However, you could have developed your main ideas further to enhance your score. Elaborate on your examples, ensuring they are fully fleshed out and linked back to the question prompt more evidently. Remember to fully address all parts of the task, with a clearer distinction between the discussed views and your own opinion. This helps achieve a higher score.