Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Nowadays,

people

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have more choices in

sports

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than in the past,

however

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, some of them might be dangerous and might even threaten

human's

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human

show examples

life.

Therefore

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, some

people

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want to set a limitation to join these insecure exercises. In my opinion, I partially agree with

this

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stance, I think

people

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can choose the

sports

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they want, meanwhile, they should

also

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follow several instructions or rules, the following content will list the reasons.

First,

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some of the

sports

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are not suitable for normal

people

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such

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as extreme

sports

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. Without professional training, they might hurt themselves.

For example

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, diving is an amazing way to explore the undersea world and visit

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

submarine lives.

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While diving

Correct word choice

Diving

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under the sea could be fatal when facing some emergent situations, like the disorder of the equipment,

lacking

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lack

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of oxygen and

encounter

Wrong verb form

encountering

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unfriendly sealife.

Therefore

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, the policy about

the

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apply

show examples

basic training before diving should be published, in order to reduce tragedies from the

freshmans

Correct your spelling

freshmen

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Secondly

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, protective equipment is

also

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Correct article usage

apply

show examples

vital and basic for these

sports

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. In certain

sports

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protection is needed for either professionals or

freshmans

Correct your spelling

freshmen

show examples

, because even

the

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if the

show examples

former is more

skillful

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skilful

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and experienced, they might get injured as well.

For instance

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rockclimbing

Correct your spelling

rock climbing

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is a challenging exercise, without the

assiatance

Correct your spelling

assistance

of anchors, safe belts and protective gloves, a steep wall could make a climbing expert drop down to the ground easily.

As a result

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, every climber should follow the rules and instructions before they climb. In conclusion, because of potential risks, we should set up limitations

about

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show examples

certain

exercise

Fix the agreement mistake

exercises

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, these rules can not only protect our lives but

also

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let us enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

easily.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Sun Dec 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Be sure to establish clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea for each paragraph. Your essay shows each paragraph covering different points, but better topic sentences will make the progression of ideas clearer. Also, work on ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one another, using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link your ideas and reinforce the structure.

task achievement

Your response covers both sides of the argument as well as your own opinion, which is good. However, you could have developed your main ideas further to enhance your score. Elaborate on your examples, ensuring they are fully fleshed out and linked back to the question prompt more evidently. Remember to fully address all parts of the task, with a clearer distinction between the discussed views and your own opinion. This helps achieve a higher score.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

BULLYING BEHAVIOR HAS BECOME A MAJOR PRLEM AT SCHOOLS. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents, but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?