People spend too much time on the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,the

internet

Use synonyms

has become increasingly popular among us.People spend hours sitting on social media.In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is not a positive development.I am prone to agree that we spend our valuable time on websites.It destroys us in a physical and

mentally

Change the word

mental

show examples

way.I will put forth some notions to exemplify my points with lucid examples.

To begin

Linking Words

with,in today's

society

Add a comma

society,

show examples

folks use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social apps too much.

This

Linking Words

has

a detrimental consequences

Correct the article-noun agreement

detrimental consequences

a detrimental consequence

show examples

related to their both mental and physical

health

Use synonyms

.Overusing the sources of the

internet

Use synonyms

can lead to a sedentary lifestyle which decreases body movement.

Consequently

Linking Words

,people become weak in a physical way.What is more,it is detrimental to mental

health

Use synonyms

.The social network creates an addiction,if it is used for a bunch of time.

As a result

Linking Words

,addicted folks do not want to do anything,their mindset becomes poor and narrow.

For instance

Linking Words

,Scientists have proven the results of using

internet

Use synonyms

sites.For the

last

Linking Words

decade,the thinking abilities of individuals have decreased,because of their addiction to the

internet

Use synonyms

In addition

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,I would to point out that,the government should take action in order to decline the usage of network sites.It will help the citizens for better

health

Use synonyms

and life. In conclusion,the usage of the

internet

Use synonyms

is detrimental to humans.We are wasting our lifetime and our value in

this

Linking Words

world.It

bad

Change the adjective

badly

show examples

affects our

health

Use synonyms

and mindset.

Submitted by medet.khan774 on Sun Dec 10 2023

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Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay somewhat answers the question, but it lacks detail and development of ideas. Expand on your main points and give more specific examples to support your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more logically and using a variety of linking words to help your essay flow better. In places, your essay jumps from idea to idea without clear connections, and linking words are either overused or used in a way that doesn't quite fit.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

211 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive
negatively affects
physical and mental health
decreased productivity
hinders personal growth
internet addiction
essential
numerous benefits
productive
educational
wisely
individual choice
responsibility
manage

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People spend too much time on the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that in our modern age because of advancement in digital technology it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others believe handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss these views and state you opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve the overall general health of the public is to offer more sports facilities. Others say that this would have little effect and other measure are necessary to improve public health. Discuss both views.

Fresh water has always been a limited resources in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures can government and individuals take to respond to this problem.