Video games are very popular with children. However, some parents feel that video games can have a negative impact on their children, but others believe that they may have some positive effects. How do you feel about children playing video games? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Currently,playing

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

become increasingly popular among students,

While

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some people argue that

this

Linking Words

can affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

health

Use synonyms

and behaviour,

the

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for the

show examples

rest of adults it can be beneficial for children. I strongly believe that online

games

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Change the verb form

are

show examples

harmful for kids,as they spend too much time playing them.In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall expound my thoughts in detail.

To begin

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with,We often see that

young

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the young

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generation

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

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too much time playing

variuos

Correct your spelling

various

games

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.It can be detrimental

for

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show examples

their

health

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.Sitting and playing for hours can cause different

ilnesses

Correct your spelling

illnesses

and can be a huge problem in the future.

Furthermore

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,engaging

videoplays

Correct your spelling

video plays

excessively leads to reduced

phisycal

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physical

activity,bad posture and vision problems.

For instance

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,As we know,

eSportsmens

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sportsmen

have

weak

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a weak

the weak

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appearance

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appearances

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as they play too much.Many of them are skinny and wear glasses.Which shows the results of overusing the computers.

Finally

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,overwatching the screen of a computer or phone can affect badly on your appearance.

In addition

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videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

ruin

Correct article usage

the

show examples

mental

health

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of young guys and develop their addiction to

games

Use synonyms

.They will spend plenty of hours of the day on the displays of

gadjets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

and they will think that it is fine.

However

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,unfortunately,It has already destroyed their mental

health

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As a result

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,they have become

adictive

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addictive

games

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For instance

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,it can be clearly shown

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show examples

their thinking abilities.Students who play too much

videogames

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video games

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are less capable

to think

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of thinking

show examples

quickly than people who lead an active lifestyle.

To sum up

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While

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,the majority of adults believe that they are good to children. I am convinced that online

games

Use synonyms

are damaging to children since they spend too much time playing them.

medet.khan774Sun Dec 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusions are present, but they are not sufficiently developed or clear. To improve, provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summarized restatement of your key points in your conclusion. This will help frame your essay more effectively for the reader.

coherence cohesion

There is some evidence of logical structure, but the essay lacks clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly,' 'secondly,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently' to link ideas and paragraphs, providing a smoother flow and making your argument more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The main points are somewhat supported by explanations or examples, but they need to be more fully developed and specific. Expand on your ideas with precise examples or data to illustrate your points clearly and enhance your argument.

task achievement

The response addresses the task, but it does not cover all parts fully or evenly. Ensure that you answer all aspects of the question comprehensively, discussing both potential negative and positive effects of video games on children, as per the prompt.

task achievement

While ideas related to the topic are presented, they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Elaborate on your ideas with more depth and explanation to clearly communicate your point of view to the reader.

task achievement

Specific examples are provided, but they lack detail and relevance. Reference real-life instances, research findings, or statistics that directly relate to the argument you are trying to make. This will enhance the persuasive quality of your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational games
Cognitive development
Strategic thinking
Hand-eye coordination
Time management
Social skills
Teamwork
Multiplayer
Creativity
Imagination
Role-playing games (RPGs)
Physical activity
Inappropriate content
Addictive behavior
Parental control
Balanced lifestyle

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