Video games are very popular with children. However, some parents feel that video games can have a negative impact on their children, but others believe that they may have some positive effects. How do you feel about children playing video games? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Currently,playing
videogames
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video games
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have
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has
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become increasingly popular among students,
While
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some people argue that
this
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can affect
on
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apply
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their
health
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and behaviour,
the
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for the
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rest of adults it can be beneficial for children. I strongly believe that online
games
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is
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are
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harmful for kids,as they spend too much time playing them.In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall expound my thoughts in detail.
To begin
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with,We often see that
young
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the young
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generation
spend
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spends
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too much time playing
variuos
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various
games
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.It can be detrimental
for
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to
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their
health
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.Sitting and playing for hours can cause different
ilnesses
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illnesses
and can be a huge problem in the future.
Furthermore
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,engaging
videoplays
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video plays
excessively leads to reduced
phisycal
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physical
activity,bad posture and vision problems.
For instance
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,As we know,
eSportsmens
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sportsmen
have
weak
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a weak
the weak
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appearance
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appearances
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as they play too much.Many of them are skinny and wear glasses.Which shows the results of overusing the computers.
Finally
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,overwatching the screen of a computer or phone can affect badly on your appearance.
In addition
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,
videogames
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video games
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ruin
a
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the
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mental
health
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of young guys and develop their addiction to
games
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.They will spend plenty of hours of the day on the displays of
gadjets
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gadgets
and they will think that it is fine.
However
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,unfortunately,It has already destroyed their mental
health
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.
As a result
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,they have become
adictive
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addictive
to
games
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.
For instance
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,it can be clearly shown
on
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in
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their thinking abilities.Students who play too much
videogames
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video games
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are less capable
to think
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of thinking
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quickly than people who lead an active lifestyle.
To sum up
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,
While
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,the majority of adults believe that they are good to children. I am convinced that online
games
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are damaging to children since they spend too much time playing them.
Submitted by medet.khan774 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusions are present, but they are not sufficiently developed or clear. To improve, provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summarized restatement of your key points in your conclusion. This will help frame your essay more effectively for the reader.
coherence cohesion
There is some evidence of logical structure, but the essay lacks clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly,' 'secondly,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently' to link ideas and paragraphs, providing a smoother flow and making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The main points are somewhat supported by explanations or examples, but they need to be more fully developed and specific. Expand on your ideas with precise examples or data to illustrate your points clearly and enhance your argument.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but it does not cover all parts fully or evenly. Ensure that you answer all aspects of the question comprehensively, discussing both potential negative and positive effects of video games on children, as per the prompt.
task achievement
While ideas related to the topic are presented, they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Elaborate on your ideas with more depth and explanation to clearly communicate your point of view to the reader.
task achievement
Specific examples are provided, but they lack detail and relevance. Reference real-life instances, research findings, or statistics that directly relate to the argument you are trying to make. This will enhance the persuasive quality of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational games
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Time management
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Multiplayer
  • Creativity
  • Imagination
  • Role-playing games (RPGs)
  • Physical activity
  • Inappropriate content
  • Addictive behavior
  • Parental control
  • Balanced lifestyle
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