Video games are very popular with children. However, some parents feel that video games can have a negative impact on their children, but others believe that they may have some positive effects. How do you feel about children playing video games? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Currently,playing

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

become increasingly popular among students,

While

Linking Words

some people argue that

this

Linking Words

can affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

health

Use synonyms

and behaviour,

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

rest of adults it can be beneficial for children. I strongly believe that online

games

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

harmful for kids,as they spend too much time playing them.In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall expound my thoughts in detail.

To begin

Linking Words

with,We often see that

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

show examples

too much time playing

variuos

Correct your spelling

various

games

Use synonyms

.It can be detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

health

Use synonyms

.Sitting and playing for hours can cause different

ilnesses

Correct your spelling

illnesses

and can be a huge problem in the future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,engaging

videoplays

Correct your spelling

video plays

excessively leads to reduced

phisycal

Correct your spelling

physical

activity,bad posture and vision problems.

For instance

Linking Words

,As we know,

eSportsmens

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

have

weak

Add an article

a weak

the weak

show examples

appearance

Fix the agreement mistake

appearances

show examples

as they play too much.Many of them are skinny and wear glasses.Which shows the results of overusing the computers.

Finally

Linking Words

,overwatching the screen of a computer or phone can affect badly on your appearance.

In addition

Linking Words

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

ruin

Correct article usage

the

show examples

mental

health

Use synonyms

of young guys and develop their addiction to

games

Use synonyms

.They will spend plenty of hours of the day on the displays of

gadjets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

and they will think that it is fine.

However

Linking Words

,unfortunately,It has already destroyed their mental

health

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

,they have become

adictive

Correct your spelling

addictive

games

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

,it can be clearly shown

Change preposition

show examples

their thinking abilities.Students who play too much

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

are less capable

to think

Change preposition

of thinking

show examples

quickly than people who lead an active lifestyle.

To sum up

Linking Words

While

Linking Words

,the majority of adults believe that they are good to children. I am convinced that online

games

Use synonyms

are damaging to children since they spend too much time playing them.

medet.khan774Sun Dec 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusions are present, but they are not sufficiently developed or clear. To improve, provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summarized restatement of your key points in your conclusion. This will help frame your essay more effectively for the reader.

coherence cohesion

There is some evidence of logical structure, but the essay lacks clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly,' 'secondly,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently' to link ideas and paragraphs, providing a smoother flow and making your argument more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The main points are somewhat supported by explanations or examples, but they need to be more fully developed and specific. Expand on your ideas with precise examples or data to illustrate your points clearly and enhance your argument.

task achievement

The response addresses the task, but it does not cover all parts fully or evenly. Ensure that you answer all aspects of the question comprehensively, discussing both potential negative and positive effects of video games on children, as per the prompt.

task achievement

While ideas related to the topic are presented, they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Elaborate on your ideas with more depth and explanation to clearly communicate your point of view to the reader.

task achievement

Specific examples are provided, but they lack detail and relevance. Reference real-life instances, research findings, or statistics that directly relate to the argument you are trying to make. This will enhance the persuasive quality of your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Educational games
Cognitive development
Strategic thinking
Hand-eye coordination
Time management
Social skills
Teamwork
Multiplayer
Creativity
Imagination
Role-playing games (RPGs)
Physical activity
Inappropriate content
Addictive behavior
Parental control
Balanced lifestyle

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In most nations, the public prefers buying a property instead of paying lease fees to the landlord. This essay will expound on the reasons for the phenomenon and state my views on why it is more beneficial.
8
band
Some people focus on national news, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and offer your opinion
People have different views on whether to pay more attention to either domestic or global news. While local news helps you remain well-informed about your surroundings, I believe listening to global news helps you remain connected with far-flung corners of the world.
6
band
Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?
With the development of technology film industry has developed over the years. Nowadays, individuals would like to watch international movies instead of national films. In my opinion, there are several reasons to choose foreign films. I am also convinced that it is reasonable for each society to have financial support for their movie industries.
7
band
Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In today's fast-paced society, the importance of acquiring practical skills is often emphasized, and the ability to cook is no exception. While some argue that the young generation should learn cooking as an essential skill, others contend that it is more beneficial for individuals to acquire culinary expertise later in life. This essay will examine both perspectives and present my own viewpoint.
6.5
band
As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The expenditure on the road system has become one of the hotly debated topics that divided opinions, due to the increase of the quantity of cars recently. Many people think this is the accountability of the government, while others consider that it is an individual role to pay for it. From my perspective, the government bears responsibility for improving road traffic.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people focus on national news, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and offer your opinion

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Some people think that cooking is an important skill for young people to learn. Others believe that it is better for people to learn how to cook after they become adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.