Many museums charge for admission while others are free . do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to musuems outweigh the disadvantages?

Imposing
money
to
museum
visitors
could trigger
dichotomy
Correct article usage
a dichotomy
show examples
between the benefits and
malefits
Correct your spelling
profits
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the advantages of charging
money
for the
museums
Change to a genitive case
museum's
museums'
show examples
admission outweigh the disadvantages because the
museum
has its own
money
to maintain the historical
artefacts
.
This
essay will address why the benefits of adding admission
charge
Fix the agreement mistake
charges
show examples
to the museums outweigh the drawbacks and will include relevant examples to support
this
position. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, The
money
that is
charged
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
visitors
could improve the exhibition facilities.
For example
,
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
could add a movie
theather
Correct your spelling
theatre
to give a brief visualization
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the history of the
artefacts
and why the
museum
was
contructed
Correct your spelling
constructed
. With
this
approach,
visitors
could imagine and easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
understand
holisticaly
Correct your spelling
holistically
for just
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
movie.
Moreover
, the
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
collected from the
visitors
could help to maintain the
artefacts
.
For instance
, old
artefacts
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to get
vurnerable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
as time goes by.
Hence
,
giving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
chemicals and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
tools to polish the surface are needed to preserve the antiques to secure
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
longetivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
.
Furthermore
, The
money
could
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
to pay the custodian monthly wage, which plays a pivotal role
to protect
Change preposition
in protecting
show examples
the
museum
.
On the other hand
, the negative
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
giving fees to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
is only certain people who have the
money
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
go to
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
. For illustration, students ,who mostly do not have their own
money
, could not enter the
museum
freely.
Another sides
Replace the adjective
Another side
Other sides
show examples
might happen is the government would not
giving
Change the form of the verb
give
show examples
any budget to subsidize the
museum
Change noun form
museum's
show examples
improvement because they think that the
money
from the residents
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
already fulfil the
museums
Change to a genitive case
museum's
museums'
show examples
expenditure. In conclusion, giving charge to the
visitors
has more benefits compared to those who believe it is not necessary.
This
is because the
money
could be utilized to improve the facilities and
also
they have the
money
to maintain the
artefacts
and
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
the custodian a considerable wage. Giving a charge to the
museum
would be better if there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
distinct fees for students and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
spare
Wrong verb form
spared
show examples
a
budge
Correct your spelling
budget
show examples
to help ameliorate the
museum
attractions.
Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph possesses a central idea and maintain a clear progression of thoughts throughout. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately but avoid overusing them.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully within each paragraph, providing more extensive examples where needed. Demonstrate a balanced discussion that addresses both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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