Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

A group of people declare that nowadays special creatures of biodiversity are in danger of extinction which is the major environmental issue. The rest of them argue that there are other environmental problems that are more important. I think both views are important because both of them act like

domino

Add an article

a domino

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effect. There are a number of reasons why losing special flora and fauna could be the main problem in the

environment

Firstly

, the equal balance disrupts, and the

environment

faces

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

consequences.

This

means that every creature plays a unique role in the ecosystem, and they interconnect with other living things.

As a result

, their loss causes not only other species but

also

the whole

environment

close to death.

Secondly

, losing those species

also

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

in a vulnerable

environment

because it cannot recreate the species.

For example

, if a plant class

disappeared

Wrong verb form

disappears

show examples

, which

curb

Correct subject-verb agreement

curbs

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

water

pollution, all aquatic creatures may go extinct.

Therefore

, the loss

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to a chain reaction of negative effects.

On the other hand

, there are some other big environmental problems that can be key figures. Destroying forests and agricultural lands so as to build more apartments increases different pollution

such

as air, soil and

water

. When trees are cut, the soil is liable to erode, leading to polluted

water

and a

various

Correct word choice

large

show examples

number of animals and plants lose their habitat.

Also

, human activities increase

green house

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

show examples

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

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global

temperature

Fix the agreement mistake

temperatures

show examples

and melting

iceberg

Fix the agreement mistake

icebergs

show examples

This

causes

water

rise

Fix the infinitive

to rise

show examples

and disturbs the ecosystem.

Thus

, deforestation and greenhouse

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

have a detrimental effect on the

environment

. In conclusion,

while

caring for individual creatures is necessary for the

environment

, it is important to pay attention to the rest of the environmental problems. I think both arguments complete each other and even the second one has a major impact on the first one in a way

that is

a fraction of the whole. (315)

Submitted by zahra.hmt88 on Sun Dec 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Your introduction should clearly state what will be discussed, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on one central idea, and a conclusion that summarizes and restates your opinion. Your essay showed a fair sense of organization, but the connection between ideas could be smoother.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to fully develop your main points. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Your essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support your arguments.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that you answer all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Include clear, developed arguments for both views and your own opinion. While you addressed both views and your opinion, deeper analysis and more developed ideas would enhance your task response.

task achievement

Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition and aim to demonstrate syntactic variety and lexical resource. This would help to convey your points more effectively and enhance your language score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are off the opinion that giving a good first impression at an interviewer is the key securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

It is generally observed that almost all high level jobs are done by men. Does it mean that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? Do you agree or disagree with this proposition.