IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it, You should write at least 150 words.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing you
this
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 letter to request to work in our main head office of the
company
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 which is situated in the USA, California for 6 months so I can contribute to the MNC
company
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. Though, I have been working in
this
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company
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 as a
project
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 manager for 10 years, and I came to know that our top researchers are planning to do a huge
project
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 that I would like to work on the
project
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 which can boost the
company
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's revenue by applying requires principles that have learnt in school. I would like to remind you that you are not required to hire another employee
instead
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 of me as I have some staff members who will be managing my tasks
while
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 I am in the head office. For your assistance, could you please arrange to spend some quality time working on the
project
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 that I have been waiting for a long period in our main headquarters? I look forward to seeing your response soon. Yours faithfully, Richard Smith

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coherence cohesion
While your letter generally follows a clear structure, it would benefit from more logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have included a greeting and closing, but you could make your closing more impactful by summarizing your request or expressing anticipation for a positive outcome.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a single idea per paragraph. While you have distinct paragraphs, some ideas could be expanded on or divided to enhance clarity.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. Expand more on how your work could be managed in your absence and possibly suggest a plan for the transition.
task achievement
Your tone is mostly suitable for a letter to a manager; it's formal and polite. However, using more persuasive language could strengthen your argument for why you should be allowed to work at the head office.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • global operations
  • cross-functional
  • remote work
  • progress updates
  • logistical arrangements
  • cultural exchange
  • continuity plan
  • enhance my skillset
  • broaden my horizons
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