Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relewant examples from your own knowledge or experience.)

There are those who think that having a large sum of money will make us happy. Regardless of whether some
people
believe there are more reasons to be joyful
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
Contentment, in my opinion, can be earned by achieving goals. Arguably, some individuals
gained
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
happiness by reaching their dreams, like attaining an education at the university, because not all of us are able to afford to go to school. For these reasons, even though they are not wealthy enough, they are trying harder to achieve these goals by pushing beyond what they can do. Like other parents out there who are willing to sacrifice even if their income is not sufficient to provide for their family.
Hence
, fulfilling those dreams can bring them satisfaction and gratitude in life.
Furthermore
,
people
have always said that health is wealth for the reason that there is no greater value in money compared to being physically and mentally healthy to be happy.An example of
this
is some
people
in the showbiz industry who are not only earning too much money but
also
taking care of their health. They watch their diet not only to become physically attractive but
also
to become physically fit. And that kind of attitude makes them elated and continues to inspire
people
in a positive way. In conclusion, happiness can be managed or achieved by attaining a goal in life and learning how to improve health to become more active
while
entertaining the public.
Submitted by joydv88 on

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Introduction
Your introduction should more clearly present the topic and outline your position on it. It should give the reader a clear understanding of the upcoming discussion.
Task Response
While your arguments are somewhat related to the prompt, you should ensure your essay directly addresses the two questions: how money might make people happy, and what other things can make people happy.
Main Points
Work on ensuring your main points are well-developed and directly linked to the essay question. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon with supporting detail.
Coherence
Use cohesive devices appropriately to help the reader follow your line of reasoning. Transitions such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', and 'therefore' can help improve the flow of your essay.
Conclusion
Remember to provide a concluding paragraph that summarises your main points and clearly states your position, giving a sense of closure to the essay.
Supporting Examples
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to the prompt to support your arguments. Be careful that your examples truly illustrate your point and are not just mentioned in passing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wealth
  • Prosperity
  • Affluence
  • Financial security
  • Financial freedom
  • Well-being
  • Quality of life
  • Hobbies and interests
  • Travel and exploration
  • Achievement
  • Success
  • Generosity
  • Compassion
  • Empathy
  • Supportive relationships
  • Personal development
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