IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

ith the widespread use of the Internet, more people choose to work or study from home. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#ith #internet #people #work #study #home #trend
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In
this
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 era, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise.More people prefer to
work
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 or
study
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 from
home
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 with the usage of the internet.I believe that
this
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 trend can have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.In the following paragraph, I would like to shed light on the reason for
this
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 change. There are various advantages for students and workers to support
this
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 trend.
Firstly
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, working or studying from
home
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 allows an individual to create a more flexible schedule that can improve an individual's
work
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-life balance between personal and professional life.
Thus
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,
this
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 can increase an individual's productivity.
For example
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,a
study
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 shows that a
home
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 environment can be less distracting compared to an office or school which allows an individual to focus more .
Moreover
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, those who have a limited budget can save a lot more money on transportation or eating out by working or studying from
home
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 ,
as well as
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 contribute to environment protection by lowering carbon emissions, time-saving and reducing stress by eliminating the need for daily commuting.
However
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, the disadvantages are
also
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 remarkable.
To begin
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 with, an individual would have the potential for isolation
due to
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 a lack of social interaction with the community which might be harmful to a person's health issues, sometimes leading to serious mental health problems.
Additionally
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, a person who is non-social would have difficulty in managing teamwork projects,
as a result
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 in lowering an individual's productivity.Eventually, it can lead to overworking and burnout if a person tries to
work
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 or
study
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 all by himself.
Nevertheless
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, an individual
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 self-discipline to
main
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maintain
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clear
Correct article usage
a clear
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 boundary between
work
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or
Correct word choice
and
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study
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.
For example
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, A mother who is working from
home
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 between
work
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 and
home
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 life to maintain good productivity which can be difficult for some individuals to maintain. In conclusion,how people decide to
work
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 or
study
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 depends on their choices.
Although
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 there are a few demerits of using the internet, it certainly has made our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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more convenient and cost-effective.
Submitted by tifjong on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which indicates a logical structure. However, the ideas could be more coherently linked and transitions between points could be smoother. Paragraphs should follow a logical order with clear topic sentences, followed by supporting details and examples.
task achievement
While the essay does address the task, the treatment of the topic is somewhat general and lacks depth. Specific supporting details or examples are needed to better demonstrate the arguments made. The response must also meet the minimum word count requirement to fully satisfy task achievement criteria.
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