Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some
people
hold a view that helping other
countries
is equal to helping ourselves, so many
countries
with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich
countries
.
However
,
this
behaviour does not bring advantages to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
poverty. Personally, I agree that developed
countries
should stop giving financial assistance to poor
countries
, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In
this
essay, it will explain my personal view of
this
topic and give examples. In some poor
countries
, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid.
For example
, in some
low level
Add a hyphen
low-level
show examples
income
countries
,
such
as Africa, they have received many funds from other
countries
to improve the condition of
people
's living,
however
, nowadays, there are still some
people
who do not have enough food for their daily life.
Secondly
,
government
play an essential role in solving poverty.
Although
there is
government
corruption in solving poverty, it shouldn't be seen as
anegative
Correct your spelling
a negative
thing. The
government
could make more policies for helping the poor
instead
of
benifiting
Correct your spelling
benefitting
from the funding which they have received from other developed
countries
.
For example
, in some low-income areas,
people
could not afford to rent a house or buy an apartment. The
government
put a
house
Change the verb form
housing
show examples
policy
into
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
to solve
this
problem. The
policy
could be building houses for homeless
people
. In conclusion,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to giving money to poorer
countries
directly, the
government
should know what
policy
will help their
people
and make an effective
policy
to solve problems that they are facing.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, however, the logical structure between the paragraphs can be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt, but your response needs to fully develop your argument. To achieve this, expand on your ideas with a greater depth of explanation and illustrate your points with more detailed and relevant examples.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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