Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #money #poverty #aid

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Some

people

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hold a view that helping other

countries

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is equal to helping ourselves, so many

countries

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with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich

countries

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However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

behaviour does not bring advantages to

solve

Wrong verb form

solving

show examples

poverty. Personally, I agree that developed

countries

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should stop giving financial assistance to poor

countries

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, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In

this

Linking Words

essay, it will explain my personal view of

this

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topic and give examples. In some poor

countries

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, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid.

For example

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, in some

low level

Add a hyphen

low-level

show examples

income

countries

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such

Linking Words

as Africa, they have received many funds from other

countries

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to improve the condition of

people

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's living,

however

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, nowadays, there are still some

people

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who do not have enough food for their daily life.

Secondly

Linking Words

government

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play an essential role in solving poverty.

Although

Linking Words

there is

government

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corruption in solving poverty, it shouldn't be seen as

anegative

Correct your spelling

a negative

thing. The

government

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could make more policies for helping the poor

instead

Linking Words

benifiting

Correct your spelling

benefitting

from the funding which they have received from other developed

countries

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For example

Linking Words

, in some low-income areas,

people

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could not afford to rent a house or buy an apartment. The

government

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put a

house

Change the verb form

housing

show examples

policy

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into

practise

Replace the word

practice

show examples

to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. The

policy

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could be building houses for homeless

people

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. In conclusion,

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to giving money to poorer

countries

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directly, the

government

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should know what

policy

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will help their

people

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and make an effective

policy

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to solve problems that they are facing.

Submitted by ysh424 on Mon Dec 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, however, the logical structure between the paragraphs can be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.

task achievement

You addressed the prompt, but your response needs to fully develop your argument. To achieve this, expand on your ideas with a greater depth of explanation and illustrate your points with more detailed and relevant examples.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

poverty alleviation
economic inequality
developing nations
foreign aid
sustainable growth
technical assistance
expertise
infrastructure
education
fair trade
trade barriers
sustainable development
environmental conservation

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Success is often measure by wealth and material belonging. Do you think wealth is best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

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