Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

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Some
people
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hold a view that helping other
countries
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is equal to helping ourselves, so many
countries
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with high levels of wealth would love to donate funds to not rich
countries
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.
However
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,
this
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behaviour does not bring advantages to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
poverty. Personally, I agree that developed
countries
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should stop giving financial assistance to poor
countries
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, in reverse, they need to take other measures. In
this
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essay, it will explain my personal view of
this
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topic and give examples. In some poor
countries
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, they don't know much about development even if we give them money to change, they still waste the aid.
For example
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, in some
low level
Add a hyphen
low-level
show examples
income
countries
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,
such
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as Africa, they have received many funds from other
countries
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to improve the condition of
people
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's living,
however
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, nowadays, there are still some
people
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who do not have enough food for their daily life.
Secondly
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,
government
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play an essential role in solving poverty.
Although
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there is
government
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corruption in solving poverty, it shouldn't be seen as
anegative
Correct your spelling
a negative
thing. The
government
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could make more policies for helping the poor
instead
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of
benifiting
Correct your spelling
benefitting
from the funding which they have received from other developed
countries
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.
For example
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, in some low-income areas,
people
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could not afford to rent a house or buy an apartment. The
government
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put a
house
Change the verb form
housing
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policy
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into
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
to solve
this
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problem. The
policy
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could be building houses for homeless
people
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. In conclusion,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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to giving money to poorer
countries
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directly, the
government
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should know what
policy
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will help their
people
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and make an effective
policy
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to solve problems that they are facing.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, however, the logical structure between the paragraphs can be improved. Consider using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences to ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt, but your response needs to fully develop your argument. To achieve this, expand on your ideas with a greater depth of explanation and illustrate your points with more detailed and relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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