In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their productcts are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

For advertising purposes,
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
often market their
product
as always having something new,
this
is needed for the
company
to keep catching up to
their competitor
Fix the agreement mistake
its competitors
show examples
.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
is something that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be encouraged. With the advance of technology, the differences between
product
Add an article
the product
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
becoming more and more subtle, especially for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
product
that basically
serve
Change the verb form
serves
show examples
the same purposes,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
the
purposes
Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
show examples
of a mobile
phone
is to communicate, so to make their mobile
phone
better,
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
need to keep adding
feature
Add an article
a feature
the feature
show examples
to their
phone
, like camera, video recording,
high speed
Add a hyphen
high-speed
show examples
internet etc.
Until at
Change preposition
At
show examples
one point they run out of major features to add, and from
this
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
the
competition
is in the small detail,
such
as our
product
have the telephoto camera, our
product
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
superior image stabilization etc. The
company
need to make sure that their
product
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
out from the
competition
so the
customer
knows that they are making the best
product
.
Furthermore
, with the
company
feeling needed
Wrong verb form
feels the need
show examples
to introduce something new in their
product
, the one who will benefit the most from it is the final
customer
.
Competition
in business is always good for
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
, as we can get the best
product
with the minimum price to pay.
For example
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rise of cheap smartphone
manufacturer
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturers
show examples
from China like Xiaomi who can manufacture a good
phone
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
decent
Add an article
a decent
show examples
price,
this have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
forced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
manufacturer
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturers
show examples
like Samsung to produce a smartphone which can compete with Xiaomi, in the
end
Add the comma(s)
end,
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
now have much broader choice of
phone
with sensible price. In conclusion, the tendency of
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
to market their
product
to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
something different from their competitor is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
positive development as the
competition
between manufacturer
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
their
product
to be better and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
it is the
customer
who reaps the benefit from
this
.
Submitted by qmousenv on

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Spelling/Grammar
Be careful with spelling and grammar. The word 'productcts' should be spelled as 'products', and avoiding these errors will improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should more explicitly address the question, and the conclusion should summarize the arguments made.
Paragraphing
Work on structuring your essay into clear paragraphs, each one focusing on a main idea. This will help to increase the coherence and the logical flow of your essay.
Examples/Evidence
Support your main points with more specific examples. The examples you provide should clearly relate to the point you are making and should be fully developed to strengthen your argument.
Language
Your essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures and a richer vocabulary. This would showcase a wider range of language skills and better engage the reader.
Task Response
It's important to directly answer both parts of the question. While you have given your opinion, you also need to discuss why businesses emphasize new features and analyze the positive and negative implications in depth.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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