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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many parents these days choose to send their children studying abroad. What are the causes? Is it a positive or negative development?

#parents #children #development
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The
country
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 being a developing nation, sees an opportunity outside the
country
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 to work and
study
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. The main reason behind the cause is the lack of scope within the
country
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 after studying and achieving their dreams. In
this
Linking Words
 context, I am pessimistic towards the approach. In the following lines, I will inform the details. When the
country
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 is working to become a developed nation, it lacks opportunities for those children who want to
studyfor
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study for a college
acollege
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a college
college
 degree by doing expenses themselves. Where
this
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 is possible outside the world,
this
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 kind of
study
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 not only gives them exposure but
also
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 amounts to some necessary expenses including College fees and buying grocery items.
This
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 is one reason why parents choose to send them abroad. The other reason could be a job after receiving a qualification.
For instance
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, Bhutan is a developing
country
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, we see lots of graduates in search of jobs.
This
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 clearly indicates that even though you possess a qualification, you were not given a proper job.
This
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 clearly shows they are not fit within the
country
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.
That is
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 why they look for greener pastures where joblessness is guaranteed with acquired qualifications. Emigration may lead to population reduction in developing nations causing a major blow to the
country
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. In order to hold
this
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 trend government should play a quicker role in bringing more opportunities within the
country
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 where they can continue their master's degree in the
country
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 itself. To bring that alive,
policy holders
Correct your spelling
policyholders
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 should bring changes to hold them back and bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
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opportunities within the pasture.
To conclude
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, work and
study
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 culture is a more loved system abroad. To hold them back it has to be installed and provision of job after
study
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 is another solution.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Avoid presenting new arguments or ideas in the conclusion; it should summarize the points made within the body.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points with supporting details and examples that are directly related to the topic. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon, rather than a list of undeveloped points.
Task Achievement
Respond directly to all parts of the task. Your essay should discuss the causes of parents sending their children abroad to study and argue whether it is a positive or negative development. Both parts require equal attention.
Task Achievement
Present ideas clearly and provide comprehensive answers to each part of the question. The response should show a thorough understanding of the topic and demonstrate the ability to discuss concepts in-depth.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. It enhances the persuasiveness of your essay and provides clarity. Whenever you mention an idea, think about how you can illustrate it with a real-life situation or hypothetical scenario.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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