IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart provides information on the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent by visitors from four different countries on their activities during their vacation in Greece in 2019. 
Overall
Linking Words
,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and American
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 seemed to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 most of their
time
Use synonyms
to read
Change the verb form
reading
show examples
 a book,
while
Linking Words
 Turkish and Brazilian visitors enjoyed more
time
Use synonyms
 at the beach. Among three activities that can be done during vacation in Greece,
Chinese
Use synonyms
 people
are spoiled
Wrong verb form
spoil
show examples
 themselves with reading book
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 for eight
hours
Use synonyms
long
Rephrase
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the rest of the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 only stand for below than six
hours
Use synonyms
, with both Turkish and Brazilian visitors
shared
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 the same amount of
time
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Conversely
Add a comma
Conversely,
show examples
  when it comes to spending
time
Use synonyms
 on the beach, Brazilians took a longer
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
six
hours
Use synonyms
 long, meanwhile the rest of the group
cannot
Wrong verb form
could not
show examples
 stand longer than five
hours
Use synonyms
, and surprisingly
Chinese
Use synonyms
 people did not use to wasting
time
Use synonyms
 on
beach
Add an article
the beach
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, American and Turkish people turn out to share the same activity during
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 as they are equally devoting three
hours
Use synonyms
 per day to visiting locations in Greece, which surprisingly
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 favoured enough among the rest of the group especially
Chinese
Use synonyms
 folks
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 only spare one hour per day to do that activity.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, chinese, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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