Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can we do to address these problems?

Humans are putting more and more pressure on the atmosphere,
this
leads to environmental degradation.
This
essay attempts to shed light on the ways in which humans are destroying the environment before demonstrating some solutions to tackle
this
worrying issue. There is sufficient evidence to illustrate that the natural environment is being attacked by human activities.
Firstly
, the enormous
energy
consumption in production is the main factor resulting in many environmental problems. Given the fact that there is massive exhaust fumes released from means of transportation and industrial areas which have been increasing recently and exacerbate
severely
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severe
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air quality.
Moreover
, deforestation is one of the noticeable
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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when the forest areas are chopped down non-stop on a daily
basic
Correct your spelling
basis
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,
as a result
,
obliterate
Wrong verb form
obliterating
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natural habitat and precipitate the extinction. The worse coverage, the growing carbon footprint, and
consequently
, the environment
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more and more
vulneruble
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
.
For example
, in 2022, the total forest cut down in the world is more than 4
percent
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per cent
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than in 2021.
Therefore
, the earth has lost a huge carpet that played a role in absorbing carbon dioxide, causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming more seriously. To combat
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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consequences of the aforementioned issues, it is advisable for both governments and individuals to deploy the following solutions. One feasible measure is that national authorities should spend government funding researching and introducing carbon-free
energy
sources,
such
as wind and solar
energy
. Simultaneously, state officials should encourage and support
evironmentally-friendly
Correct your spelling
environmentally friendly
inventions and green industries.
For example
, Tesla is famous for electric vehicles which mitigate to release of toxic chemicals into the atmosphere.
Moreover
, raising public awareness about environmental degradation should be intensified in order to join hands to have clean-up activities and preserve it to avoid regretful damages. In conclusion, the overconsumption of traditional
energy
and deforestation are the underlying motives behind major environmental issues. The supporting policies of the government and raising
people
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people's
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awareness are the key factors to alleviate
this
issue.
Submitted by pnkhanhlove on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical sequence of ideas but could benefit from more varied cohesive devices and smoother transitions between points to enhance the flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, though they could be more impactful by providing clearer thesis statements and summarizing the main points more distinctly.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported by examples and explanations, yet they require more development and specificity to effectively strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The response is relevant to the task and addresses the key parts of the prompt, but in order to attain a higher score, it should have a more sustained and in-depth focus on all components of the task.
task achievement
While the ideas presented are appropriate, they should be articulated more comprehensively. Clarity would be improved with well-structured paragraphs that each contain a clear main idea and subsequent supporting details.
task achievement
The essay provides examples, but they could be more specific and relevant to the central argument to offer a stronger case and a more precise illustration of the points being made.

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