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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In contemporary society, having children may be a difficult situation because of that they have to prepare for foundation activities
such
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 as environments, finances, and accommodations to raise their kids.
Therefore
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, in some countries, when people grow older, they will have their first child.
This
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 essay will discuss some factors contributing to these matters, and
also
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 provide the reasons why
this
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 issue has advantages of
this
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 development outweigh the disadvantages. There are several reasons why, in some nations, people tend to have their first child when they become older.
It is clear that
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 they prefer to make Important preparedness for activities
such
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 as the status of their growth.
In other words
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, in order to have a kid without trouble, they will provide facilities
such
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 as a house in which convenient to live and provide some budget.
Moreover
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, some parents suffer from a disease which makes it impossible to have a baby,
for
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this
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 reason, they deserve some treatment and restore themselves . In terms of advantages of having babies when they are high age. Advocates of
this
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 proposition believe that generation-efficient populations begin from family because a household
that is
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 ready to raise can bring benefits that outweigh the unready family.
For example
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, children who receive higher education will be more efficient than some who are not.
As a result
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, parents should have their first baby when they are ready. In conclusion, because of problems
such
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 as surroundings and funds which are fundamentals of growth, cause people to have babies when they are older. In my view, the benefits that have been brought to modern society outweigh the harmful effects.

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introduction
Your essay introduces the topic, but the introduction could be more engaging and clear. Make sure to include a thesis statement that directly addresses the question and briefly outlines the essay's structure.
logical structure
Work on developing a stronger logical structure by using clear topic sentences and well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main idea that is developed with explanations and examples.
supported main points
While you have an introduction and conclusion, the essay's main points need more development and specific examples to support your arguments.
complete response
Ensure that you fully respond to all parts of the task. Address both the reasons for the trend and the advantages versus disadvantages. Expand your discussion to offer a more comprehensive analysis.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas. Make sure each idea is fully explained, and add specific, relevant examples to illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples should be detailed and relevant. Avoid generic statements that do not add value to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Shift
  • Trend
  • Societal norms
  • Education and career
  • Financial stability
  • Reproductive technologies
  • Delayed marriages
  • Parenting responsibilities
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
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